More Than Just a Mattress: Big, Sexy, and Held

A collaborative review from the Big Sexy Chat team

Most mattresses aren’t made for us.

They’re made for small to mid-size bodies, bodies that fit neatly into mainstream design specs. The rest of us? We’re left with creaking springs, collapsing corners, sagging centers, and the quiet anxiety that comes with wondering, “Will this bed actually hold me?”

At Big Sexy Chat, we talk a lot about bodies. Fat bodies. Marginalized bodies. Bodies in motion, through sex, sleep, grief, healing, and joy. We talk about what it means to live in a world that isn’t built for us, and how we reclaim comfort anyway.

So when Big Fig reached out and offered to gift each of us a mattress, we didn’t just say yes; we said yes with intention.

Because this isn’t just about a bed. It’s about finally having access to rest that doesn’t punish us, sex that doesn’t require acrobatics, and a kind of comfort that isn’t rationed by size. We wanted to know if Big Fig could actually live up to the hype: a mattress designed from the ground up for bigger bodies, not as an afterthought, but as the foundation.

We slept on it. We had sex on it. We healed on it. And now, a year later, we’re sharing the full story; what held up, what blew us away, and why we believe Big Fig is offering something rare:

A mattress made for more.
More sleep.
More pleasure.
More support.
More life.

Made for More Sleep

Sleep should be a given. But for so many of us, especially those in larger bodies, it’s a nightly negotiation.

Too often, we’ve learned to sleep around discomfort. Around a mattress that dips in the middle. Around springs that groan under our weight. Around frames that were never built with us in mind. And around the lingering anxiety that shifting in your sleep might wake you up… not because you're done resting, but because the bed just gave out. Again.

The truth is, most mattresses aren’t built to offer lasting support beyond a narrow size range. Many standard models are designed to accommodate 150 to 200 pounds per sleeper, which simply doesn’t reflect the reality of countless bodies. That’s why breakdowns happen faster, support fails where it's needed most, and sleep becomes something we manage, not something we trust.

When we started sleeping on our Big Fig mattresses, the difference wasn’t subtle. It was immediate. The firmness, the stability, the edge support, it all added up to one simple but revolutionary feeling: relief.

Merf put it best:

“I used to brace every time I rolled over. Now I just… sleep.”

For her, it wasn’t the first time a bed had made promises. Years ago, she and her partner James spent close to ten grand on a high-tech mattress setup; split base, foot warmers, the works. Within a few years, her side stopped holding air. The company replaced parts under warranty… until they didn’t. Suddenly, she was expected to pay hundreds for foam inserts just to not sink through her bed.

Contrast that with Big Fig: a mattress that doesn’t baby out under pressure, doesn’t play favorites, and doesn’t leave one partner sleeping on plywood while the other floats. James, who prefers a softer bed, took a little time to adjust, but soon realized the firmer support actually meant fewer aches and better sleep.

We also appreciated the little things that don’t feel so little when you live in a larger body. Cooling sheets that don’t cling to sweat. A wide body pillow that actually feels wide. An adjustable base that doesn’t creak when you shift positions. It all adds up to something we didn’t know we were missing until we had it: ease.

And that ease is deeply political.

Because rest isn’t just physical, it’s emotional, too. For those of us who are constantly navigating a world not built for us, finally finding a place where we can fully relax is no small thing. A bed that holds us without judgment, without compromise, without noise, becomes more than a bed. It becomes a sanctuary.

We still have busy lives, aching joints, and chaotic schedules. But at the end of the day, we know we’ll be held. That we’ll lie down and feel supported, not braced, not anxious, not adjusting. Just held.

And when your body has been taught for years to expect less?

That kind of rest is revolutionary.

Made for More Sex

Let’s be real: when it comes to sex, the struggle isn’t our bodies, it’s the furniture.

Sex should be sweaty, playful, deep, connected, ridiculous, tender, and wild. But for a lot of us in bigger bodies, it’s often interrupted by something much less sexy: a bed that sags, squeaks, or outright gives up in the middle of a good time. We’ve been forced to adapt, not because we lack flexibility or imagination, but because mattresses just haven’t kept up with us.

So when we say that the Big Fig mattress changed the way we have sex, we’re not being dramatic. We’re being honest.

Chrystal has been loud and proud about this for years. As a veteran in the sex toy world and a self-declared “lazy sex” enthusiast, she knows exactly how much a stable surface can make or break an intimate moment.

“If your bed sinks when you straddle someone,” she says, “you’re not riding, you’re surviving. And that’s a vibe killer.”

The Big Fig’s edge support alone opened up a world of possibilities, especially for angled positions, like spooning or doggy-style variations, where control, pressure, and access really matter. For folks using straps like the Sportsheets Plus-Size Doggy Style Strap (a Merf favorite), the added firmness means you can actually use the leverage the way it was intended. No tipping, no sliding, no “oops the mattress swallowed my pelvis” moments.

And let’s talk toys. For people with limited mobility, chronic pain, or simply more flesh in the mix (hi, that’s us), tools like small bullet vibes or longer-handled suction toys are often a must. We love the Womanizer Duo, for example; it has become a go-to for solo or partnered play because it doesn’t require Cirque du Soleil contortion. Pair that with some pillows or a Liberator wedge for angle support, and you’ve got an accessible, customizable setup that lets pleasure take center stage.

Big Fig even teamed up with us to create this sex position quick guide, a one-pager featuring a few of our favorite positions and supportive tools that can enhance pleasure for people of all sizes. It’s a great starting point, especially for folks looking to experiment without strain.

Merf put the Big Fig to the test in positions that used to feel impossible. She’s always been a fan of cowgirl and reverse cowgirl, but her old mattress made her feel like she was sinking into quicksand the second she got on top. Now? Full range of motion, full-body confidence, and no annoying creaks telling her to wrap it up.

“I used to feel like the mattress was trying to bench me halfway through,” she said. “Now I actually get to enjoy the ride.”

And Chrystal’s Lazy Sex™? Thriving. She and her partner lean into deeply connected spooning positions that prioritize closeness and comfort. With the right base support and a little help from a silver bullet, “lazy” quickly becomes luxurious.

We even got into the nitty gritty of this in our podcast episode with Sportsheets, talking about how adaptive tools and better-designed gear can radically transform pleasure for fat folks and how Big Fig is part of that toolkit.

Here’s the bottom line: sex is already vulnerable. It’s sweaty and messy and funny and intimate and weird and beautiful. The last thing any of us should be worrying about is whether the bed can handle it.

Big Fig doesn’t just handle it, it holds us in the heat of the moment, without hesitation.

That’s not just sexy.
That’s liberation.

Made for More Healing

Not all touch is sexual. And not all rest is sleep.

At Big Sexy Chat, we talk about pleasure, but we also talk about grief. About trauma. About the exhaustion of navigating a world that constantly asks marginalized bodies to perform, prove, and persevere just to be treated with basic dignity. And that’s why healing takes more than a soft mattress. It takes a space that helps people exhale.

For Asherlee, our co-producer, editor, and the founder of River Rose Cuddle Cottage, that kind of healing starts with intentional, platonic touch. She’s a trauma-informed cuddle therapist who offers consensual, nurturing connection to clients who may not have been held in months or years. And for many of them, finding a bed that doesn’t fight their body is part of what allows that trust to form.

“Big Fig didn’t just give me a mattress,” Asherlee says. “They gave me a foundation. A tool I use every day to help people feel safe enough to soften.”

Clients show up with bodies full of muscle tension, anxiety, or fear. Many have learned to brace the second they lie down, worried the bed will creak, tilt, collapse, or make them feel unstable. But on a mattress built for support and stillness? They breathe. They let go. Their nervous systems downshift.

She’s seen it happen again and again:

• A disabled client melts into the mattress and tears up because their body doesn’t have to be readjusted every few minutes.
  
  
• A couple reconnects while lying face to face, surprised that rest can feel mutual instead of awkward.
  
  
• A first-time client who had never felt safe spooning simply says, “I didn’t know a bed could hold me like this.”
  
  

These aren’t flukes. They’re the result of a design that centers support, not just in theory, but in practice. A mattress that holds steady under shifting weight isn’t just about longevity or engineering; it’s about trust.

In cuddle therapy, trust is sacred. And it can’t exist if the environment isn’t safe.

“This bed moves with me, not against me,” said one client. “It’s like it’s rooting for me to get comfortable.”

We’ve been taught to shrink ourselves. To earn comfort. To only take up space if we can do it quietly and without being a burden. But what happens when we’re given a space that invites us to relax without apology?

What happens is healing.

A bed can’t fix a lifetime of being treated like too much, but it can offer a place to rest from that fight. Big Fig didn’t just make a mattress. They made a sanctuary.

More Than a Mattress

So what have we learned after a year of living, loving, and healing on these beds?

A mattress isn't just a surface. It's a support system. And when that support is strong, steady, and built with intention, it ripples outward into our sleep, our sex, our relationships, and our ability to simply exist without tension.

Big Fig didn’t just slap a higher weight limit on a standard bed and call it a day. They rebuilt the whole thing from the ground up, with fat folks at the center. Not as a niche market. Not as an afterthought. As the foundation.

They made a bed that doesn’t apologize for taking up space. A bed that doesn’t squeak under pressure, doesn’t collapse mid-thrust, and doesn’t ask you to shrink. A bed that says, “You’re welcome here,” without saying a word.

That’s what we mean when we say Big Fig is made for more.
More sleep.
More comfort.
More connection.
More joy.
More you.

Whether you're looking to deepen intimacy, recover from touch starvation, stretch out without bracing, or just finally get through the night without back pain and resentment, you deserve a bed that supports the whole of you.

If you’ve been waiting for a sign, consider this it.

And if anyone tries to tell you comfort should come with a size limit?

Tell them Big Sexy Chat sent you.

With Big Love,

Chrystal, Merf & Asherlee
The Big Sexy Chat Team