Aug. 29, 2025
Confessions of an Amazon: Fetishes, Fat Desire & Power
Send us a text Chrystal and Merf welcome back Amazon Amanda, towering fetish icon, professional Amazon, and founder of BBW XXX Adventures, for Confessions of an Amazon: Fetishes, Fat Desire & Power. Amanda takes us inside her world of fetish, where “no nudity, no sex, no release” still means high intensity. From lift-and-carry sessions and scissor holds to the creation of BBW XXX Adventures, she shares how she built a career that celebrates fat desire, supersized BBWs, and true body diver...
Chrystal and Merf welcome back Amazon Amanda, towering fetish icon, professional Amazon, and founder of BBW XXX Adventures, for Confessions of an Amazon: Fetishes, Fat Desire & Power.
Amanda takes us inside her world of fetish, where “no nudity, no sex, no release” still means high intensity. From lift-and-carry sessions and scissor holds to the creation of BBW XXX Adventures, she shares how she built a career that celebrates fat desire, supersized BBWs, and true body diversity in porn.
We also dive into boundaries, burnout, softness in a hypersexualized industry, and why representation matters. And just when you think it couldn’t get wilder, we drop in a Listener Mail Break featuring one of the strangest texts we’ve ever received, and Amanda’s unfiltered reaction says it all.
✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:
- Confessions from Amanda’s 20+ years as a professional Amazon
- Launching BBW XXX Adventures and spotlighting supersized BBWs
- Burnout, boundaries, and keeping space for softness
- Listener mail: when kink meets chaos
- Fetishes, fat desire, and representation in porn
- Toys, fuck machines, and sex-tech on tour
📌 Find Amanda online:
- AmazonAmanda.com
- BBWXXXAdventures.com
- Twitter: @AmazonAmanda
& @BBWAdventures
📌 Find us online:
- Website: BigSexyChat.com
- Instagram & socials: @BigSexyChat
- Email: bigsexychatpod@gmail.com
BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at bigsexychatpod@gmail.com.
You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod
Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)
Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.
Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!
00:00 - Welcome to Big Sexy Chat
01:15 - Amazon Amanda's Multi-Faceted Career
05:17 - Moving to Vegas and Touring Globally
09:00 - Meditation and Avoiding Burnout
15:30 - Setting Boundaries with Clients
24:30 - Unexpected Emotional Moments
32:14 - Drama with Jealous Partners
34:25 - BBW Representation in Adult Films
39:00 - Sex Toys and Filming Challenges
48:00 - Favorite Travel-Friendly Sex Toys
51:00 - Upcoming Projects and Closing
WEBVTT
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Welcome to Big Sexy Chat, the podcast where fat joy, pleasure and real talk take center stage.
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In this episode, crystal and Murph are joined once again by the legendary Amazon Amanda, a towering force in the fetish world and the visionary behind BBW XXX Adventures.
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Bbw XXX Adventures, we talked about everything from boundaries and burnout to why representation of all bodies in adult entertainment matters, plus a juicy listener mail break that had us all shaking our heads.
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Let's just in time for a little something juicy with Crystal and Murph.
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Dark and fat sex, big feels, hot takes and kinks.
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We're breaking all the rules, babe.
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What you think.
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It's Big Sexy Chase.
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Say it back now.
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Big Sexy Chat, let's go.
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Welcome back to Big Sexy Chat.
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I'm Crystal.
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I'm excited to have a special guest here today with us Amanda, Amazon, Amanda and of course, my beautiful co-host is here, Murph Hi, Murph Hi.
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And if you're new to Big Sexy Chat, we're thrilled to have you, and if you're a regular listener, you're going to recognize Amanda's voice and her beautiful face.
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She's been on with us before and it was so much fun having her, so we're excited to get back to it and see what's going on with her business.
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She's got all kinds of fun stuff going on, so we're so happy to see your face and thank you for coming back, Amanda Well thank you guys for having me.
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You guys are freaking amazing.
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I mean, you guys have grown so much just since that first episode and now up for awards and it's been quite the ride.
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We have a really good stat, though, for your episode.
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I think it's the most watched on youtube for our videos yeah yep, she's like 7 000 downloads, I believe, of your video with us.
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Yeah, let's see if we can top it all right, I like that.
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That's some good energy so, amanda, tell us, what have you been up to?
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What's going on with you right now?
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I know you still have the adult film movie business and you're still doing your.
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Um, what do you call your business, your amazonian?
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so I have multiple plates.
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I'm a professional amazon.
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Amanda is how I started almost 23 years ago as professional amazon.
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Throw on some six inch heels, b6869, tower over guys.
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More the fetish, as there's no nudity, no sex, no release, strictly fetish.
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You know I get to live to carry smother, sit, crush, leg, scissor, foot, uh, foot fetish all over it cbt, ball kicking, tickling, nipple, torture, role play, like all that.
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But then, seeing that there was a okay, I personally viewed it as a huge hole in the bbw porn per se videos.
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Um, I started bbw triple x adventures to show that there is more diversity, there is more than the status quo.
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You're 24 and you're this perfect size, 12 BBW, no, so BBW Triplex Adventures focuses more on, you know, supersized BBWs, your everyday beautiful women, thick curves, bbw, supersized BBW, alt.
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We even have a couple trans like just to cover everybody that every size is beautiful, every person is beautiful and every person is sexual like.
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So, yeah, that's been keeping both ends busy.
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Um, I'm getting up gearing up for a europe tour, but I'm also bringing big, big cherry, my social media manager for adventures, over with me Because there are a lot of international BBW babes that need some recognition.
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So we're meeting up with some over there and then gearing up for Exotica that's coming in New Jersey in October.
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That's like the largest one of the year.
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So it's yeah.
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And then we already got avian prenoms and getting boosts.
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Oh, and I'm moving.
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But you know, hey, let's just toss that into the when are you moving to?
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I'm actually going to have a place in Vegas for adventures and for my personal life.
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Seattle.
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Very cool, awesome, hey, so I didn't know that you do behavioral therapy right.
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Cbt, right Cockball torture, oh yeah, cockball torture oh, that's the other kind of therapy.
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But it is therapy.
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I know, I know You're right, it is especially for the person giving and the person receiving.
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Actually, Very much so.
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It's like true behaviors for sure.
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Would you like me to reinforce this behavior, or would you like to try and just wait?
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I love it.
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So Las Vegas is my hometown.
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What makes you want to move there?
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Just because there's so many sexy fat BBWs there and lots of sex going on?
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It's definitely more lively than Idaho.
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I love Idaho, but with the whole family change here because over the year my mom passed.
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So it's huh yeah, Because I would tour, come home and see mom, tour, come home and see mom and I'm like, yeah, we're good, let's go full bull into these other two.
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But yeah, all the conventions, everybody flying in is kind of like the hub and everybody goes to Vegas, so there's just a larger availability and people come in for the weekend.
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They come in.
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Yeah, I think the Hustler Club there was like the first to do like a whole plus size BW setup.
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So you know, I think that it's kind of and that's where the BBW Bash is held every year.
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It makes sense that you know that's kind of like the hub.
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It really is, and so it's kind of known.
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As for the events, because, yeah, the Excellence Plus had the bbw bash and we sponsored the burlesque evening, uh, with a burlesque workshop so you can come learn some moves, do some strip, and then had a whole, well um, burlesque event.
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So it before you know that little lull um between okay, here's an event time and before the dance it's like hey, come, we had like eight amazing performers come and do some burlesque and some jip and it was, yeah, it was pretty hot, but you can watch some BBW babes with curves and figure and fat rolls get out and do the whole.
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Yeah, it was amazing.
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I'm always perplexed why they have that.
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It's olivier right his his event, yeah, yep.
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Why in july in las vegas it's a pool party, but oh my god, it's so hot there really I think it started around because brie brown, she had, like the original bb Batfest, the BBW bash, and then, well, let's try and have it around the same time.
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So if you're coming in for one you can stay and linger for the other.
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But now it's such a different demographic between both and then, really, july is the only month that there isn't anything else going on, because August is FetCon, and then all the stuff in Florida, and then sometimes in September, then you hit the Halloween bashes and then October is.
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It's just busy.
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I guess I don't have FetCon on my radar.
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When was FetCon or when it was the first?
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week of August, down down in saint petersburg, fetish con very cool, so I think we need to find when that's going to be in california in vegas.
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Okay, okay, yeah no, these are like all over the the country she's a globe trotter.
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She, she's always on the go stay put one place what?
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there's like some gypsy blood in there somewhere like vagabond.
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So I was thinking about how how do you protect your space with all these kinds of now these huge, you know activities and moving and life changes and all those kinds of things?
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But also, like I'm just curious, is there like a?
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what Meditation?
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Meditation.
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Yeah, I'm just thinking like you're so, like you're like almost hyper-sexualized, like on a constant basis, right, and then it can be very like isolating, like traveling and doing that kind of thing, and then you're just kind of stuck in that space, probably a lot.
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So I'm curious like tell me about meditation and how that works for you, because a lot of people are like oh, I can't clear my brain so I guess I can't do it and then just write it off.
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So I'd love to hear your techniques.
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Oh my gosh, that is taking me 20, almost 22 years to come, because it is it's.
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You know, all my emails are oh my gosh, you're so beautiful, you're so this, I can't wait for you to do this.
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And there's very none of them approached me as hey Amanda, how was your day?
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Hey Amanda, how was grocery shopping?
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Like there's no mundane task discussions.
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Or it's the that.
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Oh, when you go grocery shopping, do you wear your heels and do you bend over, and do you really like?
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Or do you tower over the person in front of you and do you ever just hip chuck some like?
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So everything as easy as like grocery shopping is fetishized.
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Or when you go clothes clothes shopping, oh, does it fit?
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Is it too short?
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Is it too this Like?
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Do you rip seams?
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Do you travel?
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Well, and all the dirty details.
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So it's like it's learning to kind of step back and be like okay, because I actually just had another model.
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She's new in the scene and she's like how do you do this?
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Because I've only been at it three months, this could be a full-time job just replying if you let it.
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And then it's, she found she goes.
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There's no workplace cooler.
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It's like there's no place to go and be like hey, you know, girl talk, how was this?
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Or you know, oh, my God, can you believe this happened?
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And so there's not that break or that camaraderie.
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And then she said and women, I've tried making friends and she goes, but then their husbands get jealous because they think she's going to want to do what I do.
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Or then the woman is jealous, thinking like oh my God, my husband's going to want to do this, this and this.
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And I was like so it's seeing that like, oh, wow, okay.
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So you know, asking the same question, how Trial and error, and learning that you have to have boundaries.
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And because you'll have, like I meet a lot of amazing guys, like some I've sessioned with or I've known for 20 years since I started.
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But then they start to feel like they're your best friend and it's like I love you and we do share a lot, but this is still me, my space.
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But it was like love you, my space.
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And just recently it was the meditation of like okay, manifestation, like taking that 10 minutes every morning to like center.
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But really the biggest change for me was actually opening up my personal life to a partner Because, you know, for 20 some years it's been like been like you know the song um, I'm a traveling man, I'm like in every port and when in doubt you gotta buy.
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So you know I'm busy, I'm tired, I'm just gonna take care of myself, call it good.
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Um, but yeah, it's, I actually started being involved with someone and over the last four years it it's.
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I mean like every relationship.
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First two years were, but this last year is like holy shit, this is what people talk about.
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This is that where you can confide and talk and like feel that for the first time we're like that safe space that safe space.
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I don't have to be Amazon, amanda, all the time.
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I can be like you know.
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Even though that's how we met, it's like no, I know there's multiple sides to you, just like there's multiple sides to me, and so to be able to have that, I'm like oh, we're good, we can keep doing this.
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We're fine.
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Yeah, I'm so glad to hear that you're happy and and fulfilled in a relationship and it's just it might be your era.
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Yeah, cougar era.
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I like that a lot.
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It is a good feeling to have a safe place to go back to and just get yourself centered um, because, yeah, I, I definitely was close to burnout, you know, and I mean, and I would never post online because a lot of models do it's like you guys did this, you did this, or they set up the.
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I mean, I know this is a hard time for most, but it's the.
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You know, setting up the GoFundMe and you know it's like like I'm just old school when it comes to that.
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Like this is your professional persona.
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This isn't a.
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I need help paying my car bill, my kids need clothes, my this I mean there is need for that, but it's just knowing.
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When you need to take a step back is when I don't go on tour.
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For a couple of months I don't do a lot of sessions because it can be very emotionally and mentally draining.
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So I had to come back recharge.
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But now God bless Cherry, she takes a lot of adventures off of me because there now is more demand to film with us.
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When I first started, I could only really shoot with the models that knew me, because I'm not Amazon.
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Amanda isn't per se in the adult.
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Like you know, I'm not out there filming blowjobs or, you know, comic shots or any of that.
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So a lot of the girls in that room.
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Who are you?
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Yeah, but now it's like, oh okay, like, can we film?
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Like there's more demand and requests than my budget allows right now.
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It's a good problem to have, it really is.
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It's like, guys, as soon as we win the lottery, we will be shooting.
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I say, buddy, but Sherry kind of helps, they will then try and direct contact me directly.
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Hey, so they will then try and direct contact me directly, hey, so, um, so then I'm dealing with my guys and then also potential talent, my, I'm like so, yeah, thankfully for cherry, she kind of helps.
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You know, there's tears, right, the american idol.
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You got to make it past this table to get you that's right, the semi-finalist down to the finalist.
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So yes, she really helps me a lot too.
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How do you add softness, like you were talking about, you know the burnout and that sort of thing, like I'm imagining in your role because there's so much power dynamics and you know all the I'm bossing you around and like how do you add in that softness?
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What does that look like for you?
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Oh my gosh, like um, I.
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I really had to do a lot of inner work realizing that for what I do, I was coming from a place of more masculine energy and not really embracing my, the true feminine, or like as feminine as I could be, because it's feminine is amazing.
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It's not what my clientele are here for.
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They're here for that that assertive, that power play, that masculine, like that role reversal.
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Asserted that power play, that masculine, like that role reversal.
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So to learn to be able to, I employ Amazon Amanda, but now I take back that power and embrace who I am.
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Um, it's been a struggle because you know I can be like, okay in my, but as soon as I get an email, I'm like, oh yeah, right back there, especially when they're like and they know what they're doing.
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You know when I'm saying customs or sessions or everything like and I was like, okay, pause, and you know I tell my boyfriend like okay, just give me 20 minutes, let me just get out of that mind frame.
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So then you can have me, not Amazon, amanda.
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I guess, when you say emails and stuff like that, like things that are annoying, or people are upset about something, or they're requesting something that you can't do, or what, is it that's upsetting?
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I no longer offer lifting carries at the moment For your back.
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I've been doing this for over 20 years and when I started I had no problem lifting Piggybacks firemen over shoulder, like all those.
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Let me tell you, men are just as bad as women about lying about their weight.
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So when you say, okay, 200 pounds is my max, because, again, see, they're coming from the aspect of well, but I just want you to lift me.
00:17:53.773 --> 00:18:03.541
Okay, but there are 20 other guys in this city that also want me to lift them, so, yeah, it's, I had to take a break for that.
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And then, honestly, I will be totally honest there was a point where lack of hygiene huge, because when you lift them, their armpit is right by your face.
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Oh yeah, that's a no-go.
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And when you get these guys that don't believe in deodorant, because that's my manly musk, or they come straight from the gym and I just don't want that in my face.
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That's just rude.
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In my industry we say shower within the hour.
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And it really is and they're like, but I took a shower this morning.
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No, no, it's about 7 pm.
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Balls are stinky, okay.
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And then they want to wrestle and you're like sweaty balls, it's like.
00:18:47.974 --> 00:18:55.573
And then it's like, um, yeah, and a lot of the well, can I pay you like no nudity.
00:18:55.573 --> 00:18:57.441
Does that mean for me too?
00:18:57.441 --> 00:19:00.243
I'm like no nudity period.
00:19:00.243 --> 00:19:02.026
Can I pay extra?
00:19:02.026 --> 00:19:07.972
No, no, and it's like, but like, see, there's this thing.
00:19:07.972 --> 00:19:11.662
You have a penis that does not always behave.
00:19:12.544 --> 00:19:45.813
So when you get hard, even though you say I think you're gonna have pre-cum, I do not want pre-cum anywhere touching my body exactly we have that problem too in my industry, because if we're working on people's penises, you know we're doing the electrology, you have to touch it, which means and I have gloves on, but we know when you touch a penis, first of all they get confused someone's touching my penis, that means happy, happy times, and then I'm gonna get ready to zap it, but anyway, um, and then, yeah, just by moving it and touch it and stuff, you know, because I'm, I do electrology the blood flow just makes it direct.
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:50.967
And then you know, even though nobody's really turned on, I don't think there's going to be pre-tractament.
00:19:50.967 --> 00:19:56.410
It's like, well, I don't know, we put a little tissue over the top like a little hat, so it absorbs it.
00:19:56.891 --> 00:20:04.455
Yeah, and it's like, and even the guys, I mean you'll get the ones like you know, because I say there's no release, no bodily fluid.
00:20:04.455 --> 00:20:07.198
Well, but what if I can't control it?
00:20:07.198 --> 00:20:14.192
If you're a 30-some-year-old man and do not know how to, I will help you.
00:20:14.192 --> 00:20:19.346
Done and like do we have any questions?
00:20:19.988 --> 00:20:21.411
I'm going to learn it, yeah.
00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:23.867
And they're so like uh.
00:20:23.867 --> 00:20:29.087
So I mean, erections happen, it's totally fine, you just keep going.
00:20:29.087 --> 00:20:32.913
But it's the ones that try and then wrestle and rub up on you.
00:20:32.913 --> 00:20:35.925
Yeah, that's just, that's a no.
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:36.883
Men they're not.
00:20:36.883 --> 00:20:38.970
They're just not sending us their best stuff right now.
00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:59.734
Okay, so for all the you know, stinky armpits, pre-cum kind of guys, what's like something that really touched you from a fan Like a reaction or like something that really reminded you why this is good like for you.
00:21:01.059 --> 00:21:05.683
I really am blessed with a lot of amazing, amazing guys that I've met.
00:21:05.683 --> 00:21:22.257
Some of them it's helping through either early trauma, earlyhood trauma, some it's accepting like, okay, I have this kink, I don't know why I have it, where it came from or what, but X, y and Z said I'm bad.
00:21:22.257 --> 00:21:28.882
X, y and Z said I'm bad.
00:21:28.882 --> 00:21:31.085
I'm like you are not bad, you are not a bad person, you are not a sinner and it's like I just.
00:21:31.085 --> 00:21:38.954
You know they love pantyhose and they just love the feel, the smell, the texture and I'm like in my head, okay, well, that usually goes back to a mama fetish.
00:21:42.980 --> 00:21:46.894
You know the time when you last felt comfortable was when your mom was wearing.
00:21:46.894 --> 00:21:52.864
You know to hear that, but we don't discuss that because I am not a therapist.
00:21:52.864 --> 00:21:58.577
But yeah, it's just a lot of when they can have that moment and just be like vulnerable and or when they just thank me that.
00:21:58.577 --> 00:22:05.163
You know I've been watching you for so many years and you know I finally had the ability and like the balls to do this.
00:22:05.163 --> 00:22:14.576
Yeah, when I can have that connection with them, it's like, yeah, okay, this is, this is why have you ever had anybody get tearful?
00:22:14.596 --> 00:22:25.980
because I had a client recently who got overwhelmed and uh, started crying a little bit and she said I'm just so excited I can't believe I actually found a way to get rid of my, my facial hair and she started crying.
00:22:25.980 --> 00:22:29.905
I was like I'm so touched, but has that ever happened to you in?
00:22:29.945 --> 00:22:32.630
the weirdest way.
00:22:32.630 --> 00:22:36.876
Okay, not so much weird way, but I wasn't expecting it.
00:22:36.876 --> 00:22:41.170
It was a gentleman that came and he wanted a role play session.
00:22:41.170 --> 00:22:45.605
Like, okay, yeah, that's fine, I'm totally down for role play, but it was disciplinary.
00:22:45.605 --> 00:22:51.343
I'm sure that in a former life I was a disciplinarian, but he was very specific.
00:22:51.343 --> 00:23:09.880
He brought a detention note and he got bad grades I, of course, was the mom A bar of ivory soap to wash his mouth out and then did verbal degradation of him for how he humiliated the family, how he embarrassed the family.
00:23:09.880 --> 00:23:13.383
I'm like this is childhood trauma at the core.
00:23:13.383 --> 00:23:14.584
I'm like this is childhood trauma at the core.
00:23:14.584 --> 00:23:25.594
And then he brought his own ruler, because he was, I was smacked with the paint stick and and we went through the whole thing and then it was like tears of thinking and he goes.
00:23:26.534 --> 00:23:29.416
Thank you for allowing me to work through that.
00:23:29.416 --> 00:23:37.311
It was also to take power over that whole situation, so it was no longer that little boy suffering.
00:23:37.311 --> 00:23:40.163
But yeah, that was like.
00:23:40.163 --> 00:23:47.595
That did a trip on me too, because I was like I mean, once we got into it, I'm like this is not a scene, a fetish scene.
00:23:47.595 --> 00:23:49.307
This is trauma reliving.
00:23:49.307 --> 00:23:55.451
But yeah, when you can talk through that and it's like or we just reassure them, you are fine.
00:23:55.451 --> 00:23:59.368
This is because it's like the ones I see.
00:23:59.368 --> 00:24:05.127
It's not sexual, we're not there for oral, we're not there for sex, it's just, you know, like lake scissors.
00:24:05.127 --> 00:24:11.849
Okay, you like that feeling of being of crushed, squeezed, and it's to be able to have that release.
00:24:11.849 --> 00:24:36.941
To be able to have that release, but it's also, if you love the bigger, stronger, thicker women, have that communication with yourself on why you are involved with skinny, thin, petite, weaker women.
00:24:36.941 --> 00:24:38.262
So this is what your body, mentality, everything cravesves.
00:24:38.303 --> 00:24:40.467
This is who you're with because society says you should be with producers.
00:24:40.467 --> 00:24:51.071
Note we're adding in a very special listener mail break here because we had a wild text come in that ties in perfectly with what amanda was saying.
00:24:51.071 --> 00:24:53.722
Here's what that text said okay.
00:24:53.782 --> 00:25:07.270
So I have a girlfriend and she is very nice and very sweet and very beautiful, but she is so skinny and I just love me a big woman Like I'm in love with fat and plus-sized women and I don't mean to waste her time, I just don't have the heart to break up with her.
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