Jan. 1, 2026

Still Here, Still Fat: What 2025 Took, What 2026 Demands

Still Here, Still Fat: What 2025 Took, What 2026 Demands

Send us a text As 2025 comes to a close, Big Sexy Chat gathers for an end-of-year roundtable conversation about what this year took, what it revealed, and what the fat community is being asked to carry forward into 2026. Joined by Saucye West, Bruce Sturgell, and Ronald Young Jr., this conversation moves beyond headlines and buzzwords to talk honestly about autonomy, weight loss culture, respectability politics, community fatigue, and the realities of staying visible in a world that keeps ask...

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Season 4

Send us a text

As 2025 comes to a close, Big Sexy Chat gathers for an end-of-year roundtable conversation about what this year took, what it revealed, and what the fat community is being asked to carry forward into 2026.

Joined by Saucye West, Bruce Sturgell, and Ronald Young Jr., this conversation moves beyond headlines and buzzwords to talk honestly about autonomy, weight loss culture, respectability politics, community fatigue, and the realities of staying visible in a world that keeps asking fat people to disappear.

We talk about GLP-1 medications and the “magic wand” narrative, but more importantly, we talk about truth-telling, conditional acceptance, and what it means to keep showing up when comfort is offered only if you comply.

This episode isn’t neat. It’s reflective, sometimes heavy, sometimes hopeful, and deeply human.
Still here. Still fat. Still paying attention.

Guests

Saucye West
Plus-size model, fat fashion influencer, and activist. Saucye is the creator of the #FatAndFree movement and a long-time advocate for extended sizing, fat liberation, and unapologetic visibility, particularly for superfat and infinite fat bodies.

Bruce Sturgell
Founder of Chubstr and co-host of the Heavy Conversation podcast. Bruce has spent over a decade creating resources, fashion guidance, and media for fat men and masculine-presenting people.

Ronald Young Jr.
Award-winning audio producer, storyteller, and host of Weight For It. Ronald’s work explores fatness, culture, and storytelling, and has been recognized by Tribeca, The Podcast Academy, Vulture, Vogue, and The New York Times.

Due to a technical issue, Ronald was disconnected near the end of the episode. You can find more of his work through Weight For It and his current projects.

Topics We Cover

  • Reflecting on 2025 inside the fat community
  • Autonomy, neutrality, and where those conversations fall short
  • GLP-1 medications and the “magic wand” narrative
  • Respectability politics and conditional acceptance
  • What weight loss changes and what it doesn’t
  • Community fatigue, grief, and rebuilding connection
  • What we’re keeping, tossing, and transforming moving into 2026

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at bigsexychatpod@gmail.com.

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

00:00 - Welcome And Roundtable Setup

01:14 - Meet The Guests And Their Work

07:36 - State Of Plus-Size Fashion And Inclusivity

12:46 - Weight Loss Drugs, Autonomy, And Honesty

19:22 - Men’s Sizing Desert And Brand Retreat

24:24 - Community Joy: Events, Cons, And Gatherings

31:56 - Hope, Policy Wins, And Realism

39:16 - Body Positivity vs Fat Liberation

45:20 - Keep, Toss, Transform: Year-End Reckonings

53:06 - How We Feel About Friends Losing Weight

01:03:20 - Lightning Round: Playful This-Or-That

WEBVTT

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Welcome to Big Sexy Chat's End of Year Roundtable.

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We're looking straight at 2025.

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The good, the exhausting, and the parts we're done pretending are fine.

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This conversation moves through weight loss culture, autonomy, respectability politics, community fatigue, and the things we still believe are worth fighting for as we head into 2026.

00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:28.879
It's honest, it's layered, and it doesn't tie things up with a bow.

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Just real people naming what needs to be named.

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And maybe a little extra sauce along the way.

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Here we go.

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Hey, you made it!

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Ha!

00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:45.920
You're just in time for a little something juicy with crystal and myrph.

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Talking fat.

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Sex big feels hot, takes and kinks.

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We're breaking all the rules, babe.

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What you think?

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It's big.

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Sexy chair.

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Say it back now.

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Sexy chair.

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Let's go.

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Hi, hi, hi.

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Hi, Merv.

00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:14.079
Hi.

00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:20.480
And for those of you who are listening, if you want to hear all of our episodes, you can find them on bigsexychat.com.

00:01:20.560 --> 00:01:24.079
And also we have a YouTube channel where we have the videos of our podcasts.

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And today we're so excited.

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We have some really amazing people to talk with today, people that have been doing meaningful work in the fat community, people that I really love and admire, and just so proud to call my friends and to be working on this kind of glorifying obesity, which I think is so funny.

00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:46.560
Um, but um working with you know side by side with all of them and just love to always promote their work.

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And I want to start off with some introductions today.

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Uh, the first introduction I want to say is I want to give a shout out to Saucy West.

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Hi, Saucy.

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Hey, y'all.

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Saucy used to model for Kirby Co Linger, which I used to have a little boutique in San Jose here, and she's a plus model.

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She's a fat fashion influencer and a fat activist, and she does also consulting and marketing for plus size brands.

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And one of the things I really admire Saucy for is that she does a lot of advocating for those of us who are infinite fats and supersized fats.

00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:21.840
We really get the short end of the stick in the fat fat world.

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I mean, we're all marginalized if we're fat, but especially those of us who are over a 5X.

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And um, Saucy really makes it a point to make sure that she's calling out brands that don't they say they're inclusive, but they just miss it by like three or four or ten sizes.

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So we're so happy.

00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:46.560
I met Saucy through Tigris, which we know Tigris must come up every freaking episode because I out there doing the work Lord's work, right?

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Saucy, what's new with you?

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What's going on?

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Fat and free still in 2025.

00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:54.319
Still is still fat and free in 2025 and forever.

00:02:54.879 --> 00:03:00.400
Uh, right now, of course, I am um working on AOFat Girl, my podcast.

00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:01.520
Your podcast, that's right.

00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:05.759
Saucy's a blogger and a podcaster, and her podcast is called AOFat Girl.

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And love your YouTube channel.

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Thank you so much.

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And I'm also trying to become a budding live streaming DJ on TikTok.

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So that's also something that I'm working on right now as well.

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I need to check that out.

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And I created an event this year called Fat Joy Event, and Saucy and I were talking at the event, and she was like, think about me for your DJ for next year's Fat Joy.

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So we're gonna make that happen in May, I think, this year.

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So thank you for being here today, Saucy.

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I'm also very excited to have Ronald Young Jr.

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on our podcast today.

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He's also a podcaster, award-winning podcaster.

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Ronald's podcast is called Wait for It.

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Hi, Ronald.

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Hello, great to be here.

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An award-winning podcaster, and we can learn about you and read all kinds of interesting stuff about you on NPR, Vulture, the New York Times.

00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:53.840
Hello.

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And yeah, his blog, Wait for It.

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How long have you been podcasting now, Ronald?

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I don't have a blog.

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That's a podcast.

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Oh, sorry.

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I lied.

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I lied.

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Podcast.

00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:06.479
No, I've been doing how long you do podcasting.

00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:10.479
I've been doing it in this iteration probably since 2018.

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I started with my first podcast, Time Well Spent, and then I launched my second podcast, Leaving the Theater, which is still active uh now.

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Uh I started that in 2019 and then Wait for It came in 2023.

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Love it.

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It's great, good stuff.

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And Ronald was kind enough to join us on our round table last year at the end of 2024.

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So he's back.

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Good to be here.

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Thank you, Ronald.

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Appreciate it.

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Cool, cool.

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And then Bruce.

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Hi, Bruce.

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Hey.

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Bruce is the editor and the founder of Chubster.com, Chubster Media.

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Bruce, also a podcaster and a digital media platform is what he's always been.

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You're busy, a creator for a let's call it a digital creator.

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And I know you create lots of content for fat men and for fat people in general, I guess, because anybody could wear men's clothing, honestly.

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I love men's clothing sometimes.

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So so nice to have you here.

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We've always wanted to have you on our podcast, Bruce.

00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:05.040
And um, your podcast is called Heavy Conversation, I believe.

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Yes, yeah, heavy conversation.

00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:07.759
Yeah.

00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:15.439
And Chubster is Chubster is C H U B S T R and fashion and advice and just life stuff too.

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A little bit everything.

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That's right.

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Yeah, yeah.

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It's uh yeah, chubstr.com, because uh when I started it long, long ago, that was like the thing.

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Drop the E from you know the end of things.

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So here we are.

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Love it.

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Very cool.

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Um, you have do you have your podcast on YouTube?

00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:39.600
Um yes, I think we've got episodes on YouTube.

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So um heavy conversation.

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Uh we've been doing it since uh what did I say 2017 or 18, something like that.

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Well, right around 300 episodes.

00:05:51.279 --> 00:06:06.160
Um and um, you know, it's really just uh it's me and my co-host uh uh Jody just kind of talking about whatever, you know, not there there's not uh not a lot of a lot of rhyme or reason or thought put into it.

00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:09.680
It's really we just kind of talk and kind of go from there.

00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:20.720
Um yeah, it's been we've taken a break as we've gone into fall and winter, and we're just kind of like, let's see where we want to go, how we want to move forward with that.

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Um got another podcast coming next year that's uh more Chubster focused and yeah, more of the audio version of Chubster.

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So tips, guides, resources, uh the kinds of things that people come to for Chubster, you know, they they come to Chubster to check out those kind of things.

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It's more of the audio side of that.

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So yeah.

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I'm often heard saying, if we think being women who purchase fashion think we have it difficult, try being a big man in shopping, especially in person.

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It's like maybe one store, and if you if you live in a big city, it's really bad for people who want to buy clothing that are designed for male presenting people.

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Yeah, it's definitely that's that's definitely why I started Chubster was just frustration of not finding anything, not being able to go out and find anything.

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Or when I found things online, it was because I really had to search, or uh, you know, things were hidden on websites, and yeah, it's uh it's still hard.

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It's still hard.

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It's like nothing's even really changed.

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Right, right.

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15 years, same thing.

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Yeah, the the women's department in Macy's here is like on the third floor in the dungeon, and you have to walk like three miles to get there.

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And I was like, thanks, y'all.

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Yeah, just keep us hidden.

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Why not?

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But anyway, okay, so today we're here to talk about 2025.

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We want to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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There's been a lot of a little bit of everything.

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Some of the great things that I had thought that happened this year, of course, was Jen from Plus Mommy, her TED Talk.

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Everything from Your Fout Friend, the Empire Waste movie.

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I wish we had more of Bridget Everett's show.

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But I want to hear from the three of you.

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We'll start with you, Saucy.

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What are there any moments that really remind you why we do this work and why we have to continue doing this work from 2025?

00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:12.160
Absolutely.

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I I feel like the overall erasure of fat bodies on the internet and um plus size fashion marketing with the overwhelming rise of shrinkage and the popularity of weight loss.

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And I feel like, of course, we always talk about body autonomy, womp womp, womp, right?

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But I'm like, we we still need to be fighting for inclusion.

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We still need to be fighting for the rights of people who are remaining in fat bodies and who don't who do not have a desire to shrink our bodies.

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We are still people who are living, breathing, and still just deserve those things.

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So I think that is the main thing that I continue to do.

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It whether, you know, I'm posting or or not, or I'm just talking with people in community.

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I always want people to know that, you know, I still see us and we're still part of this conversation, even though um people are choosing to take the magic wand and change themselves because you know, and escape this.

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There are some people who are still in this.

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I was saying on my Facebook this weekend, um, it feels like eugenics to me.

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They're trying to get rid of all of us, just want to eradicate us, it's just gross.

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But thank you, Saucy.

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Thank you.

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That's really important.

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Okay, Ronald.

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Yeah, I think uh, I mean, I echo a lot of what Saucy's saying.

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Like it's been uh it's been tough because it feels like the conversation, it it's the same conversation, there's just different uh vocabulary now.

00:09:56.240 --> 00:10:01.919
Like if you replace Finn Fen with Ozempic, then I mean we didn't really change that much.

00:10:02.080 --> 00:10:17.200
Uh but one thing I've always wanted to say, and this isn't really to push back against what Saucy's saying, but the autonomy conversation does feel like a red herring in a lot of ways, because I mean, I think ultimately we do want people to do whatever it is they're going to do.

00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:26.879
But you could see obviously from the way that they are describing what they're doing, that they're not just saying the thing that they want to do, which is to not be fat anymore.

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And if they just said that to me, I feel like I'd feel differently about them.

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I feel bad because they're not saying that.

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And I feel like that's been the most frustrating part of 2025.

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Just because as a fat person, we understand all of the ways that it's hard to be fat.

00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:45.600
So if you say to me, Ronald, it was too hard and I couldn't do it anymore.

00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:48.639
If you looked me in the eye and said that, I'd be like, honestly, I can't.

00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:49.440
What am I gonna say?

00:10:49.519 --> 00:10:50.399
I'm gonna get mad at you.

00:10:50.480 --> 00:11:01.039
Like, I I understand, but they're not saying that, they're saying all these other dumb things that we know aren't true, and you're you're you're you're you're you're telling me it's raining after you've, you know, y'all know the rest.

00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:03.679
The point is, yes, we do.

00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:09.120
But the point is, like, that's so that's how this year has felt to me, which is like just stop lying, just tell me the truth.

00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:11.120
Uh, but but folks aren't doing that.

00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:14.399
So we end up, I don't know, it may, yeah, I don't know.

00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:15.200
There's a lot to be said.

00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:18.399
I won't say it all now, but yeah, that's where I am right now.

00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:19.919
What about you, Bruce?

00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:21.360
Do you have any thoughts?

00:11:22.080 --> 00:11:33.679
Uh yeah, it has definitely over this last year, it has definitely been uh a lot of people who are uh reaching out to Chupster, you know, through social, through the website, that kind of thing.

00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:38.559
We're seeing people who are asking about those medications.

00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:45.120
They're talking about uh they're wanting advice on uh uh you know, I've lost a bunch of weight, what do I do?

00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:48.960
You know, there are all these things that I think people don't think about around that.

00:11:49.039 --> 00:12:03.440
And I think these companies try to it's the same thing they've always been doing, where they're trying to position this as uh, you know, if you take this, you'll be uh your life will be better, you'll be an amazing person, all of these things that are not true.

00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:10.559
The vast, vast majority of people who try these things, they're still gonna be fat after they're done with it or whatever.

00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:12.159
That's not gonna change.

00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:27.679
And it's it feels this feels different because it just feels like the sheer volume of uh outreach, I guess, that that I'm seeing come through Trupster, that's been the really surprising thing for me.

00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:32.320
Is over you know, years before all of this, there wasn't a lot of that.

00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:40.320
You know, sometimes you'd get things where you know, maybe somebody had some kind of surgery or an illness or something that changed their body and they wanted advice on that.

00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:44.320
But it's a lot of people asking specifically about this.

00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:55.519
So that has been a really it it's kind of interesting to see, you know, how people are reacting to this magic wand kind of thing that's out there.

00:12:55.759 --> 00:13:15.600
Aside from that, I will say the other thing that I have been pretty bummed about in 2025 is just the fact that through the pandemic we lost a lot of uh clothing brands that did extended sizes, you know, and definitely on the men's masculine side, we didn't have a whole lot to choose from in the first place.

00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:21.120
And things started to disappear and they didn't really come back.

00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:29.679
And it has become more and more difficult to find things uh at a lot of the mainstream places that people would always go.

00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:33.840
Some of those they still have things, but only to a certain size.

00:13:34.159 --> 00:13:40.000
And the options that had really been out there and really had been solid, some of those have gone away.

00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:46.480
The one thing that I will say is a positive is that it looks like some of that will change next year.

00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:49.759
I'm seeing some things that are being worked on.

00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:55.440
Um, there are companies that have reached out that are looking at doing some things that I think are pretty exciting.

00:13:55.600 --> 00:14:00.000
So I'm optimistic, even though this year not so great.

00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:01.360
Uh yeah.

00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:06.240
I will say I did have that fat joy event this year, and selling tickets was difficult.

00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:09.200
And a lot of people told me I've lost about 50 pounds.

00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:12.320
I'm still fat, but I feel weird, I feel uncomfortable.

00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:14.000
I was like, I get it, it's okay.

00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:15.120
You know, you do what you do.

00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:23.200
All everybody's welcome to this event, but a lot of that I think it's but you know, like everything, though it'll be uh it'll swing back the other way eventually.

00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:25.919
So um, okay, thank you, Bruce.

00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:27.360
Thank you, thanks, all three of you.

00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:35.200
Um, was there something that was really unexpectedly that or unexpected that brought you some really amazing joy this this year, uh Shalcy?

00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:39.519
Yeah, you you doing the fat joy event, you know.

00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:50.240
I have been definitely in the house being a mother, but I was like, well, I get to go out, I get to, you know, see my people, I get to hug people.

00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:53.279
You know, it's been a long, long time.

00:14:53.440 --> 00:15:01.840
The Bay Area used to be this thriving place for uh fat community, and we do not have that anymore.

00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:12.559
And I want to bring that back, you know, even in partnership, you know, with big sexy um chat, you know, X A yo fat girl, like we can.

00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:13.919
I just want to do more events.

00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:19.279
I want to do more things, you know, like we we used to have it and we don't.

00:15:19.440 --> 00:15:25.840
And I think that once yeah, once we get it started, I think that it'll it'll blow up again.

00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:28.559
We'll we'll have this community back again.

00:15:28.799 --> 00:15:31.759
But um, yeah, definitely.

00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:34.559
World, any unexpected joy this year?

00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:37.519
Anything that really popped surprised you and was like, yeah, hell yeah.

00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:42.240
Uh you mean just generally or within with regards to like fat community?

00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:44.799
Fat community, the fat fatosphere.

00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:47.759
Uh, I mean, honestly, I went to two conferences.

00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:53.200
This was the second time that I went to uh to Philly FatCon and my first time going to FatCon.

00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:58.080
Uh, both times were pretty uh good and eye-opening experiences.

00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:01.360
I had the opportunity to moderate a panel at Philly FatCon.

00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:11.840
Um, and they had a new space over there, and they are rocking and rolling uh in Philly right now in terms of the turnout and the engagement and the community that's there.

00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:14.720
I met a lot of people that I follow on Instagram.

00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:16.720
Uh Brie Compost was there.

00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:17.279
That was nice.

00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:20.000
It was good to meet her in person, of course, Tigris, all of them.

00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:20.960
So that was cool.

00:16:21.039 --> 00:16:26.080
And I felt like I did not, I didn't know what to expect going to um FatCon.

00:16:26.240 --> 00:16:26.960
I had never been.

00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:28.799
So last year was my first time.

00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:31.120
And uh it was, it was, it was a good time.

00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:31.600
It was good.

00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:33.519
It was good to see everybody in one room.

00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:36.320
Um, I still want to see more dudes out there.

00:16:36.399 --> 00:16:38.559
Uh, but we're I I think we're working on it.

00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:40.159
We're still talking it up a bit.

00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:50.879
But yeah, other than that, it it feels like the any time in which I've got to gather with folks, meet new people that are still doing the work, um, adventuring with Andrea.

00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:52.799
Uh, I've I've followed her account.

00:16:52.879 --> 00:17:01.200
I met her at Philly FatCon, see the outdoor labor that she's doing, uh, outdoor stuff that she's doing, to see that work still going forward.

00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:18.240
And because I think the truth is this message has to be the same no matter what, no matter what changes, and no matter what they call the weight loss drugs or the weight loss solution in the next 10 years, this work has to be the same because one, those solutions aren't going to air quote work for everybody.

00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:22.160
And uh two, like people wanna, you should be happy now.

00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:23.279
You should be happy now.

00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:27.279
And there's plenty of folks that are creating paths to be happy right in this moment.

00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:32.960
And I feel like that's what brings to me the most joy in this moment right now, that people are still doing the work.

00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:34.720
That's great.

00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:44.240
Yeah, we they Philly Fat Con talked to us about doing our podcast out there because they had a podcast recording studio and we really wanted to do it, which is up against fat joy and other things like that.

00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:47.920
But I'm hoping they're gonna do that again next year, and I'd really like to try and check it out.

00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:49.920
What about you, Bruce?

00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:54.000
Anything that really unexpectedly brought you some joy this year from the fat community?

00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:57.279
It feels like people are more engaged again.

00:17:57.440 --> 00:18:01.279
It kind of feels like, you know, I already brought up the pandemic.

00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:09.200
I just think that it was this thing that just hammered us, and it took it's taken time to kind of recover.

00:18:09.279 --> 00:18:11.039
And I mean, I can talk about myself.

00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:38.480
It that was a a really hard time uh for me personally, you know, professionally, because of all the personal stuff, um, just getting through that and uh, you know, losing family members and all these things that happened, it just kind of uh it took me a while to kind of get back to it, you know, and I really felt like I needed to um kind of step back and sort of find myself again.

00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:48.079
And um it felt like for me this year was I felt like I was back to kind of firing on all cylinders.

00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:51.440
It seemed like people were more engaged.

00:18:51.599 --> 00:19:04.079
It definitely uh seemed like that within the community, the Chubster community, just seeing people um who you know were really out there just kind of doing things and uh interacting in different ways.

00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:12.640
And so I feel slightly optimistic on that front that next year we'll be better.

00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:28.559
The world's on fire, but you know, you gotta hold on to some kind of optimism, and that's you know, I feel like I don't know, it just feels like community is building and getting stronger, and you know, hopefully that continues.

00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:33.039
Yeah, I feel like I feel I'm ready for more events again, and that's why I did the fat joy thing.

00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:37.519
I I feel like I took a few years off it because the world is on fire and it it's fucking depressing.

00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:40.160
But um, yeah, thanks for saying that about the engagement and stuff.

00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:42.240
I'm glad that you're back and firing on all cylinders.

00:19:42.319 --> 00:19:44.319
I know you've you've been through some crap this year.

00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:47.279
So uh happy to have you back, Bruce.

00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:47.839
Thanks.

00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:59.759
Yeah, and Bruce, you know, you talking about community, that kind of it hit for me some reflections on the year of like what's what's something that gave you hope this year?

00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:01.519
In the fat community?

00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:14.960
You know, it just felt like people I I think there were just people that I that I saw that felt like they could be themselves pretty unapologetically.

00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:21.279
They could kind of be out there and look for good in in the world, in the community.

00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:40.240
They, you know, were loving themselves and out there doing these things that, you know, one of the big things I think for me has been seeing people um on Instagram and TikTok and all that, where they are out there doing things that we're always told that fat people can't do, but they're out there doing them.

00:20:40.480 --> 00:20:48.480
You know, they're getting out on their bikes, they're running, they're hiking, they're doing all these other things, they're living their best lives and really enjoying it.

00:20:48.720 --> 00:21:01.200
And just kind of, I think it's really easy, especially as you get older, to stop doing things and stop trying new things and having adventures.

00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:05.279
And, you know, it's one of those things that you can't forget about.

00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:07.279
Uh, I started playing drums.

00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:16.559
I was like, I, you know, I've always wanted to play the drums, played bass for decades and decades, and I was like, you know what, why do I not have a drum set?

00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:19.440
So I got a drum set and I started playing and started learning how to do it.

00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:23.599
And it's been just this thing that has brought me a lot of joy.

00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:39.119
And I think just seeing people out there who are doing the things that they love and showing that they can do that and that you, you know, your size doesn't prohibit you from enjoying things and living your best life.

00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:40.480
It's it's huge, you know.

00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:43.359
And so for me, that's been it's been energizing.

00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:47.519
And I'm sure part of that is just kind of me in my head space, you know.

00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:49.440
But I really appreciate it.

00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:50.799
Absolutely.

00:21:51.039 --> 00:21:52.160
How about you, Ronald?

00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:55.920
Was there something that gave you hope for the fat community this year?

00:21:56.319 --> 00:22:11.759
I mean, I think it's still that people that are doing the work, uh in terms of I mean, outside of that, I don't I don't feel much hope about I feel hope amongst us as people in the fat community.

00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:22.000
I don't really feel much hope uh uh for as people outside of the fat community, especially because I listen to the way people talk about being fat now, and especially as they're losing weight.

00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:24.640
Um, and it's just it's really discouraging.

00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:33.119
It's hard to and it's hard to come back from that because the stuff, the ways in which people talk is the way is the stuff that impacts me on a regular basis.

00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:47.200
This feels good right now, like to have this conversation with y'all, but I still will like turn off my computer and have to like go out into the world at some point and get on a plane or try to buy clothes or you know, whatever.

00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:57.920
And I feel like because of the way the conversation is shifted, once upon a time, I feel like there was uh a venturing out to the world that felt better because it felt like people were educated.

00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:08.559
And the only way I know how to describe this is after 2020, during the George Floyd, uh during the George Floyd thing, there was a bunch of white folks that was like, yo, we're listening and learning, everything's gonna be different now.

00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:13.759
I started an anti-racist book club, and things were I was like, we are it's finally gonna happen.

00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:16.079
And look at where we are now, y'all.

00:23:16.160 --> 00:23:17.359
Look at where we are now.

00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:18.720
Like, we're it's not there.

00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:24.079
So it's hard to feel like hope for like a racial change in the future when you've seen this backlash happen.

00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:41.519
So when it comes to the fat folks, to have been a fat person, imagine being a fat person this whole time through the biggest loser, like through the the uh the the ultra wafy models and the through the body positivity rise and all of that, and to be here now, it's hard to say like what does tomorrow look like?

00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:48.400
All I can say is that I'm glad folks are still doing the work, and as long as that work stays consistent, we'll always have respite.

00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:52.079
But I just don't have hope that the world will change anymore.

00:23:53.200 --> 00:24:01.920
I really appreciate that because uh it's just you know you you're thinking it, but when you say it out loud, it's just like oh, it's so true.

00:24:02.079 --> 00:24:05.920
I I just I really appreciate you being transparent about that.

00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:07.359
I want to have hope.

00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:08.160
I really do.

00:24:08.480 --> 00:24:09.839
Saucy, how about you?

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:11.920
Is there something this year that gave you hope?

00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:16.240
You know, as as Ron was talking, I'm always like, and I'm hopeful.

00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:17.039
Yes.

00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:22.799
But I I agree.

00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:25.599
It's it's it's hard to remain hopeful.

00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:33.279
Um as far as in general, what's going on in this country, what's going on in the world.

00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:35.519
You're like, what's about to happen next?

00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:42.240
It's like, I think since the pandemic, we just have had to stay girded up and be like, all right, what's gonna happen next?

00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:44.720
How are we gonna prepare for what's gonna happen next?

00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:54.960
And I think that's that's where I am, you know, especially me, you know, being a single mother and having a lot of transition going on in my life right now.

00:24:55.119 --> 00:25:02.000
I'm just like, all right, you know, like what's like is am I gonna get a break or not?

00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:08.000
You know, but when it comes to fat community, I'm I remain hopeful for fat community.

00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:42.240
Um we had um, you know, NAFA and Tigris out there, you know, we get we're getting those bills out, getting that heightened weight discrimination, you know, passing in different, you know, cities and states and getting that, you know, getting that that those laws, you know, ready for us so that we can have that real uh protection because there is a dehumanization going on because of the influx of, you know, shrinkage that is happening within fat folks, that we need to make sure that we have our protection.

00:25:42.559 --> 00:25:44.400
So that is what I am hopeful about.

00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:52.880
I I am very hopeful that people are like, yes, we do need to protect people and make sure that people are getting treated like humans.

00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:57.039
And it's crazy that we have to pass laws as fat people for that.

00:25:57.200 --> 00:26:01.599
But if these laws are getting passed, then I'm that makes me hopeful.

00:26:01.759 --> 00:26:03.279
So good point.

00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:08.559
I'm glad you brought that up because I saw I tend to be on the negative side of life too right now.

00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:09.599
So you're right.

00:26:09.839 --> 00:26:12.720
NAFA's out there doing the Lord's work, and I'm so grateful.

00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:13.920
So thank you.

00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:15.519
Thanks, thanks for that, all of you.

00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:24.799
Because yeah, I know about I don't know about you, but every time I go to the doctor, I get so much pressure to start taking a diet drug, and I don't know how to tell them anymore, you know.

00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:26.559
Plus, put it in my fucking file.

00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:26.799
Okay.

00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:28.079
I don't want, I'm not interested.

00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:29.440
I already know what's gonna happen.

00:26:29.519 --> 00:26:32.720
I'll lose the weight and then I'll gain it back, and then I'll gain some rebound weight.

00:26:32.799 --> 00:26:34.480
That's how this thing works, right?

00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:41.200
Yeah, and I I was thinking about that too, in terms of like how to have open conversations around fatness.

00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:50.799
And I was thinking about that with starting with medical, you know, starting with I'm not I'm choosing not to participate in the GLP craze.

00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:54.799
So, you know, what what would you tell somebody else who is skinny?

00:26:54.880 --> 00:26:58.720
What would you tell somebody else around whatever it whatever the topic is?

00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:03.759
Um, is there I think that Ozimpic has kind of brought that forward though.

00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:08.880
Like I really got into it with a provider and switched to a new provider because of that.

00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:14.559
Is there a topic in our community that you think kind of opened up from this negative stuff?

00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:16.480
Saucy, what do you think?

00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:25.200
Um, I I feel like a well, I'm more, you know, in touch with like what's going on with plus size fashion.

00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:34.079
So I know that the specific conversation that was going on within plus size fashion was I want to lose weight because I want to have more clothing options.

00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:39.200
And then so that was the number one caveat for people to be like, well, let me go here.

00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:41.119
I'm seeing this as working.

00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:45.680
And so with that, you've seen people doing it.

00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:49.680
And now they're saying, Oh, I get to fit in the, oh, look at me.

00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:52.240
I'm shopping at, you know, this place.

00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:53.680
Oh, look at me, I get to fit in.

00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:55.359
I'm in, okay, good for you.

00:27:55.440 --> 00:28:02.240
Whoop-de-doo, you know, like so, like I think that, you know, for you know, I'm always speaking within community.

00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:07.920
I don't know about anybody else, but within community, that's what I've seen was that people want to fit in.

00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:16.480
And I said this um on an episode of my of my podcast that the body positivity movement was a, was a was a fallacy for me.

00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:18.079
Like I never subscribed to that.

00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:19.519
It didn't feel real to me.

00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:26.880
So I was like, I felt like people felt, people thought body positivity was positive when they felt positive about your body.

00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:29.599
But again, that didn't include marginalized people.

00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:32.960
That didn't include people who were larger than what was socially acceptable.

00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:39.039
It only included people who you thought were acceptable within body positivity.

00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:44.240
So that's why when people be like, oh, body positive, oh, saucy west, uh, body the the body positivity.

00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:46.480
No, I'm not a part of the body positivity movement.

00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:47.680
I am a fat activist.

00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:51.119
I'm a part of fat liberation because that is what started this.

00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:58.240
Body positivity was this, you know, little little uh step kid that we had that, you know, society was like, yeah, yeah.

00:28:58.559 --> 00:29:05.440
So no, like I feel like people want to fit in, people want acceptance.

00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:21.119
And I feel like that when you lose weight and people start respecting you, people start seeing you, people start hearing you, that that is the most traumatic thing that you have to deal with.

00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:25.200
And people don't set you up for that conversation when that happens.

00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:28.720
Oh, when I get smaller, I'm gonna get respect.

00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:37.759
And that's when you need to, and then that's when you have to go back into the root and be like fat activist, fat liberation.

00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:41.759
You're only doing this because now you've you you you see me.

00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:43.359
And that's the problem.

00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:50.480
We need more people recognizing that instead of being comfortable with, oh, well, they like me now.

00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:53.279
So yeah, that's my take.

00:29:53.599 --> 00:30:12.400
I also think that you should consider that, and and saucy, I'm interested in your take on this, but I'm I think they should consider how a person, because when you say acceptability, you're talking about the fact that society looks at a person and think about the ways in which they've talked about fat women, especially for years, where they've been like, you're pretty in the face, right?

00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:19.599
And the idea of what acceptability looks like when pieces of your body are acceptable and other pieces aren't.

00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:26.640
And when I say that, they are pieces of your body that are acceptable, even though they're fat when other pieces are not acceptable.

00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:31.440
So when you talk about body positivity, it makes it easy for you to anoint someone.

00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:47.599
Uh, and I'm not, I'm not saying this name because I'm trying to uh to dunk on her or anything like that, but that's why they pick someone like Ashley Graham to start the conversation when it comes to body positivity, because then you're saying, oh, this is someone that is big in a way that is acceptable to us.

00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:57.200
And the problem is we're not getting enough pushback from the folks who are being accepted to say, no, you need to bring everybody.

00:30:57.359 --> 00:30:59.039
Everybody has something to offer.

00:30:59.200 --> 00:31:00.799
Bring everybody into the ship.

00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:07.759
Body positivity was this just weird way of saying, we'll take the pretty ones, but leave behind all of the ugos.

00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:10.960
We don't want them, which is just it's it's wild to me.

00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:23.039
And that's still something that we in the fat community also need to be shooting down amongst ourselves because there's a way in which we're elevating those who are attractive as more valuable than those who are not.

00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:30.720
And that's something that if we don't confront it straight in its face and say we can't be doing this no more, then we're not gonna get out of it either.

00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:32.880
I have definitely had this conversation.

00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:47.119
I mean, you know, if if people have followed me, they know that I am anti-Ashley Graham because Ashley Graham made a declaration back in the 2010s when she got popular after she got her popularity from plus size and fat community.

00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:50.240
She said, I do not want to be considered plus size anymore.

00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:52.000
She left us behind.

00:31:52.240 --> 00:31:58.319
She said, and there's articles that are still on Google that will still that will she will say it.

00:31:58.559 --> 00:32:00.000
I have got to this level.

00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:02.160
I want you to just call me a model.

00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:06.480
So she left behind the people that helped her get popular.

00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:08.640
She left behind those things because guess what?

00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:10.720
She had a seat at the table at that point.

00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:14.000
So I'm I'm and now, now she's coming back.

00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:16.799
Now she's releasing a line that goes up to 5x.

00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:22.000
Now she's talking about, oh, the the things that plus size women have to go through.

00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:29.519
Oh, let me talk about the struggle now that I've had a baby, now that I'm older, now that the weight is not coming off as fast as it used to be.

00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:32.799
Bitch, you should have thought about that 10 years ago.

00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:34.079
Do you know what that reminds me of?

00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:37.039
That reminds me of when Tiger Woods stopped calling himself black.

00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:38.880
He was like, I'm cobbling Asian.

00:32:38.960 --> 00:32:40.240
And I'm like, oh word.

00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:42.400
So you're not, you're not one of us.

00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:47.519
And then like and the black community went hard for Tiger Woods in 1997.

00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:48.960
That was our dude.

00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:55.440
And I'm looking at him exactly looking at the turn and the changes that have happened in his life, and I'm like, sure, hope you enjoy being cobbled Asian.

00:32:56.480 --> 00:32:57.759
Is that the did he use that word?

00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:58.480
Combination?

00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:06.079
Blah nation, Caucasian, black, and Asian, Coblin Asian, good guy nation.

00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:07.200
What is the world coming to?

00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:07.920
But you're right.

00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:12.319
When you distance yourself in that way, like you don't get to enjoy the benefits of community.

00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:17.200
But the worst part about it is I know I know black folks, and I feel like fat folks too.

00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:21.440
Apology, retribute, I mean, uh, a restitution, you're back in the community.

00:33:21.599 --> 00:33:28.160
It wouldn't take much for Ashley Ram to turn back and to come back and be like, hey, listen, we're gonna have to have some reconciliatory talks, whatever.

00:33:28.319 --> 00:33:31.519
Saucy might still be giving you the side eye, whatever.

00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:33.839
Like we we're willing to at least hear you out.

00:33:33.920 --> 00:33:37.039
But it feels like people aren't willing to actually take those steps.

00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:44.480
They just want to change their brands to 5x and hope you forgot about that nasty thing they said, which is yeah, absolutely ridiculous.

00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.759
And we didn't buy them, and I didn't buy that whack ass shit either.

00:33:48.079 --> 00:33:49.759
We have the receipts for sure.

00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:55.279
Hey Murph, do you want to um do you wanna try some of this uh keep, toss, or transform?

00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:57.119
You want to try a little something fun like that with these?

00:33:57.440 --> 00:33:59.680
Yeah, okay.

00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:02.480
I'll let you I'll let you take it from here.

00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:03.200
Okay.

00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:10.800
Uh so we're gonna do a quick year in end of the year round basically of keep, toss, or transform.

00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:13.360
So think of the first thing that comes to your mind.

00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:19.360
So don't think that you have to really, you know, consider it like just off the off the cuff kind of thing.

00:34:19.599 --> 00:34:23.599
Um, okay, so I'm gonna do one for each of you.

00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:25.599
How does that sound, Bruce?

00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:32.239
What is one thing that is worth keeping or carrying into the next year?

00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:34.159
One thing.

00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:44.880
Um I I'm feeling like throwing away a whole lot of things, so it's really hard for me to think of something to keep.

00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:49.199
I guess um I I don't know.

00:34:49.280 --> 00:35:01.039
I I can talk uh personally for me, um being open to new opportunities, ideas, uh doing more.

00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:14.000
Um like I said, I spent a couple years doing not doing that, doing the opposite and really like just stepping back and and not being open to much of anything.

00:35:14.320 --> 00:35:18.480
And this year has really been the first year that I've felt like I'm back on track.

00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:34.639
So I feel like keeping I don't know, an open mind, um open, being open to you know, whatever comes along and just trying things and not being afraid to step back out and see what happens.

00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:35.920
I love that.

00:35:36.159 --> 00:35:40.719
That vulnerability, I think, is what will carry us into 2026.

00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:44.079
Okay, Ronald, how about you?

00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:49.119
Uh, one thing that you think needs reshaping rather than being thrown away.

00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:50.960
Let's transform it.

00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:59.039
Um, I mean, I think we we still need to have a more nuanced conversation about what autonomy means, uh, what neutrality means.

00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:05.199
I I still think we're getting to a place where it's a very polarized conversation uh about bodies.

00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:14.320
And I think ultimately uh most people would just like to be left alone uh and unbothered and at least comfortable at the movies when they decide to go watch one.

00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:15.280
You know what I mean?

00:36:15.360 --> 00:36:24.159
So I feel like there has to be a conversation within Fat Community about what it means to be what autonomy and neutrality actually mean to us.

00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:40.000
And I think that conversation needs to be widened to have with everyone as well, to say, like, what exactly uh does it mean for us to say we are no longer these descriptors aren't going to be something that need to be charged or politicized or polarizing?

00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:45.440
Like fat people are fat people, they are not to be hated, they are not to be harmed or hurt or any of that.

00:36:45.599 --> 00:36:53.760
Uh, but I think that starts with us and our community to say what does it mean for us to actually be neutral on this, uh neutral on the subject.

00:36:53.840 --> 00:36:59.840
And when I say neutral, I mean to a place where we can actually say fat the same way we say tall or short.

00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:01.760
Uh I would love to get to that place.

00:37:01.840 --> 00:37:07.840
And I think that's something we need to be working on both within uh fat community and with everyone at large.

00:37:09.599 --> 00:37:10.480
Absolutely.

00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:11.039
Wow.

00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:13.760
I yeah, I I can't imagine.

00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:19.599
I'm I'm sitting here trying to think of a world where we say the word fat and we don't get some sort of response.

00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:21.440
Like, ugh, yeah, okay.

00:37:21.679 --> 00:37:22.320
Who said that?

00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:26.960
Um that I get that, but oh, but you're not fat.

00:37:27.039 --> 00:37:28.079
I'm like, okay, all right.

00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:29.920
I am fat.

00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:30.559
It's okay.

00:37:30.719 --> 00:37:31.199
It's odd.

00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:33.039
We can think I'm objectively fat.

00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:34.239
Let's just say what it is.

00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:38.719
I'm not ascended, but they think it's a horrible word because they still haven't reckoned with it.

00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:41.599
It's a descriptor, not a sign of morality.

00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:45.920
Saucy, what are we not carrying with us?

00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:47.360
What are we tossing?

00:37:48.239 --> 00:37:49.760
Yeah, I know my answer.

00:37:51.360 --> 00:37:52.480
We can toss all that.

00:37:53.199 --> 00:37:54.000
Ashley Graham.

00:37:54.960 --> 00:37:57.440
Lizo, I'm not I'm sorry.

00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:03.119
Kidding, kidding.

00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:11.920
Um, I think that we should we should toss um acceptability culture.

00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:14.960
Like I think that I'm tired.

00:38:15.519 --> 00:38:31.119
We're tired because it's I I feel like every year we're adding on to what is acceptable, which is like making, you know, things that are, you know, making people who are more marginalized.

00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:34.159
It's it's it's like dwindling our shine.

00:38:34.320 --> 00:38:38.320
It's like, oh, so now you oh and you oh you're taking this away from us now too.

00:38:38.400 --> 00:38:39.679
Like we can't even do this.

00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:43.519
Like, I'm like, let's leave acceptability culture behind.

00:38:43.679 --> 00:38:45.440
And I will always say that every year.

00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:52.480
Let's I'm tired of um running this race with acceptability culture.

00:38:53.519 --> 00:38:54.559
Oh, that hits.

00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:55.519
Absolutely.

00:38:55.840 --> 00:39:02.800
And I think you know, the complacency and the like you said, just like settling almost.

00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:08.639
It it creates this fake sense of comfortability.

00:39:09.920 --> 00:39:11.679
Absolutely, absolutely.

00:39:12.239 --> 00:39:13.199
Go ahead, Ronald.

00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:18.880
Uh, I have a question, and I'm I'm just curious what y'all think because I feel like it's something that we should be talking about.

00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:24.400
How do y'all feel about like how do you personally feel about folks losing weight?

00:39:24.639 --> 00:39:27.199
Because I feel like my feelings are complicated.

00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:35.280
I've kind of like expressed some of them, but I'm interested to hear from y'all because I know I know all of you have like a knee-jerk reaction when that happens.

00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:41.840
And I think the the overarching feeling, especially at Philly FatCon, people keep saying, am I gonna be the only fat person?

00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:51.840
And we know that's not true, but I think all of us have more than a few fat friends who have you've been like, Oh, you you're on Ozipic.

00:39:52.159 --> 00:40:02.000
And I I certainly have started to been like, and I've tried to be as gracious with my with my uh feedback or interaction with folks as possible, but I I'm curious how do y'all feel about it?

00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:18.000
So I yeah, a lot of people, a lot of people are are taking these things and they are uh you know their bodies are changing and and it is I guess what I try to what I try to tell myself is that it's hard.

00:40:18.159 --> 00:40:20.960
Like life is hard, everything is hard right now.

00:40:21.039 --> 00:40:24.000
It's just that you know, like I said, the world's on fire.

00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:33.280
And I I think that people are you know when they're when they're taking these things and they're losing the weight.

00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:40.000
My initial reaction is just kind of it doesn't surprise me.

00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:53.440
I think the thing that is missing right now is um there's a lot of talk about how wonderful all of these uh medications are and this magic wand thing, which I love.

00:40:53.840 --> 00:40:57.199
You know, it's like you're using a magic wand and this is gonna make your life better.

00:40:57.360 --> 00:40:58.639
That's what they're thinking.

00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:07.840
But nobody's talking about the side effects, the negatives of all of these things that are uh, you know, that are part of this.

00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:15.280
And they're not talking about how you will feel about your body if you lose a significant amount of weight.

00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:19.760
It's not like this all of a sudden cures everything and life is great.

00:41:19.920 --> 00:41:23.440
There are all these things that just don't get discussed within this.

00:41:23.599 --> 00:41:26.000
And I think for me, I don't know.

00:41:26.079 --> 00:41:42.880
I you know, I really do always try to just keep in mind that I want people to be able to do what they want to do if they understand the consequences, if they understand what you know, the the good, the bad, uh, you know, everything around it.

00:41:43.039 --> 00:42:01.119
And I really hope that people who are taking these things that it doesn't change their outlook on fat people, that it doesn't make them all of a sudden feel like, you know, they're better now because they've lost about a bunch of weight.

00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:08.880
And yes, we're seeing that there are people who've, you know, they've lost weight and they're disavowing, you know, everything.

00:42:09.199 --> 00:42:39.920
And I my hope is that that is not everybody, and so I try to not just have my first reaction be like again, because I know that people do this for lots of different reasons, and I try to understand that and try to think about those things, and you know, know that you know I'm not in their shoes, and I'd like to know, you know, their reasoning.

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:41.679
And like I said, life's hard.

00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:44.400
So, you know, that's where I try to be.

00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:48.079
It doesn't always work, but that's where I try try to be.

00:42:48.480 --> 00:42:50.079
Yeah, I I definitely agree.

00:42:50.239 --> 00:43:02.079
And I um when when someone says it or when I see it, um, I automatically say, Well, I I just hope they're just gonna be happy, you know, and that's just my my genuine thing.

00:43:02.239 --> 00:43:08.559
My my next frame of thought is, okay, well, how are you gonna treat community after that?

00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:12.559
Like, what, like, what is going to be your narrative?

00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:19.119
And 99.9% of the people are like, oh my God, I'm so glad I did this.

00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:22.000
Oh my God, you know, I can't believe I stayed this way.

00:43:22.159 --> 00:43:29.840
You guys need to just, you know, think about being more healthy and think about your bodies and think about you, you know, living your lives and being able to have babies.

00:43:29.920 --> 00:43:31.840
You know, they gave you this all spell.

00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:36.639
And I'm just like, why can't you just like why can't people just still be allies?

00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:42.960
Like, why can't you still be like, you know what, I did this for me, you know, and without explanation.

00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:46.960
And I did this for me, and that's it.

00:43:47.199 --> 00:43:50.239
And how about sometimes you don't even have to say anything at all?

00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:56.000
How about if you just lose your weight, shut up, you know, and still and not reach.

00:43:56.239 --> 00:44:02.639
We don't, we don't need to hear, you know, oh, I lost, you know, oh, I'm losing, as you can tell, I'm losing weight.

00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:04.320
You know, like we'll go on.

00:44:04.880 --> 00:44:06.000
I won't give her, I don't give a fuck.

00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:06.320
I don't care.

00:44:07.199 --> 00:44:13.440
How can fat people, when they lose their weight, shouldn't know they be go on to be some of the best fat allies out there?

00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:20.320
Because no, because they don't fat people, but you know, I'm only speaking for I don't want to not be fat.

00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:21.679
I love my body.

00:44:21.920 --> 00:44:24.079
But fat people don't want to be fat.

00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:25.840
That's just it.

00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:31.360
And you know, like, you know, we they got the magic wand.

00:44:31.440 --> 00:44:33.599
They said, here, shoot this in your stomach.

00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:34.800
And guess what?

00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:37.119
All of your dreams will come true.

00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:39.360
And they have that risk it all mentality.

00:44:39.440 --> 00:44:46.960
They're like, I'm gonna risk it all care if I'm, you know, if I can't shit for seven days, I'm gonna lose 50 pounds.

00:44:47.199 --> 00:44:51.440
And y'all are going to look at me and be like, ooh, you are you are snatched.

00:44:51.599 --> 00:44:53.920
That's all you, that's all you care about.

00:44:54.159 --> 00:44:59.599
But I'm like, they that they don't think about like Bruce was saying, they don't think about the aftermath.

00:44:59.760 --> 00:45:03.039
Just like people who go and get gastric bypass surgery.

00:45:03.199 --> 00:45:13.199
They don't think about the fact that they're going to be losing weight so fast that their skin is going to be hanging after that and that the and that they don't pay for that surgery.

00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:14.320
It's cosmetic.

00:45:14.719 --> 00:45:19.199
Remember, you know, Al Roper shit his pants at the Obama White House from his weight loss surgery.

00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:31.519
I'm like, I need y'all to know that it's it's it's an expense that you pay when you when you choose to do certain things that are gonna happen at you know magically really fast.

00:45:32.079 --> 00:45:35.199
And you have to know, and a lot of these people, they don't care.

00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:38.159
They're like, I'll wear a diaper for thinness.

00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:42.159
You know, I'm like, well, you go ahead and you do that, you know.

00:45:42.480 --> 00:45:45.760
But I just wish that more people would just be like, you know what?

00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:47.760
I'm not speaking on this.

00:45:48.159 --> 00:45:50.159
Do not comment on my body.

00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:52.320
I'm still here for my community.

00:45:52.559 --> 00:45:55.679
I'm still here to fight for people who are more marginalized than me.

00:45:55.920 --> 00:46:02.800
I understand now the the, but like I said before, um, how people have changed towards me.

00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:19.119
And I want to make sure that, you know, I'm still continuing to fight for people who, you know, um, who need that voice and and just not say anything, but people don't want, they want the gratification of being smaller.

00:46:19.360 --> 00:46:26.880
Because, like I said, fat people don't want to be fat, with the exception of me, and I don't know who else who wants to say that I'm I'm just gonna be fat.

00:46:27.199 --> 00:46:33.760
People assume there's a fat, a thin person inside of me just clawing to get out, you know, like get let out that thin person.

00:46:33.840 --> 00:46:35.199
I'm like, there's no thin person here.

00:46:35.360 --> 00:46:37.280
I know my genetic code, I've seen my people.

00:46:37.440 --> 00:46:39.760
We're all fun white, we're all just like me.

00:46:40.079 --> 00:46:46.079
I've I have I've had a baby, I have been in love maybe several times.

00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:54.480
I have, you know, I have great sex, I'm a great person, you know, everything's good and warm over here.

00:46:54.639 --> 00:46:56.960
Like, I don't need I'm not a thin person.

00:46:57.440 --> 00:46:59.199
You know, I'm not trying to do that.

00:46:59.360 --> 00:47:03.840
You know, I tried to do that when I was young and I and I did not succeed.

00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:11.440
So now I saw Melissa McCarthy on Saturday Live and I was like, oh no, hurt you.

00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:17.760
That's my thing, is like I I don't I don't care if somebody chooses to lose weight, whatever that's your choice.

00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:20.400
Uh that's fine, whatever your reasoning be.

00:47:20.719 --> 00:47:23.679
But I don't want to see your before and after pictures.

00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:33.760
I don't want to hear you talking about how this has changed your health and everything, you know, you're doing this and now you're taking some supplement and blah, blah, blah.

00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:41.280
Um, as long as you you make it that, hey, this is just the next thing that I'm doing in my life, whatever.

00:47:41.599 --> 00:47:54.559
But if I have to be inundated by everything that you're doing to transform yourself to not have any sort of similarity to me or the people that I care about, then I don't need anything to do with you.

00:47:54.800 --> 00:47:57.280
And that's really where it boils down to me.

00:47:57.360 --> 00:48:03.360
It's like, uh that's fine, cool, you do you, but if you start doing all that other shit, peace out.

00:48:03.679 --> 00:48:07.360
If it's just about health, you wouldn't need a before and after photo.

00:48:07.679 --> 00:48:11.760
You mean you guys you guys don't want to hear about everybody's weight loss journey?

00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:14.480
That's the the thing that hail to the now.

00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:16.800
Hail to the now, no, no.

00:48:17.119 --> 00:48:23.199
No, no, it's to the point now where I'm like, I mean, it's weight loss journey and before and after pictures.

00:48:23.280 --> 00:48:31.280
Again, if y'all would just tell me I've made an aesthetic choice, I would I I'm I know people say if you told me the truth, I was respect that.

00:48:31.360 --> 00:48:32.480
Typically, they're lying.

00:48:32.639 --> 00:48:33.519
I'm not lying.

00:48:33.679 --> 00:48:37.199
If you said it to me like it was an aesthetic choice, I'd be like, all right, cool.

00:48:37.360 --> 00:48:39.199
I am gonna have opinions about it later.

00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:43.199
I am gonna be like, that's I mean, I don't know why that has to be the aesthetic we choose.

00:48:43.360 --> 00:48:48.320
I'm gonna question the structures that make those aesthetics okay and not these other aesthetics okay.

00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:49.360
I'm gonna do all that.

00:48:49.519 --> 00:48:54.960
But for you as a personal person, at least I could say, I could say, okay, yeah, all right, you did it for that reason.

00:48:55.119 --> 00:49:00.000
The other thing I don't like is when everyone acts like it's an accomplishment to lose weight.

00:49:00.239 --> 00:49:03.440
And I will keep citing this example until I die.

00:49:03.679 --> 00:49:08.719
When my mom passed, she lost a lot of weight, a lot of weight.

00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:16.960
And for some folks, they would have looked at her and thought that that was an accomplishment if they did not know that she was dying at the time.

00:49:17.119 --> 00:49:22.800
So, whatever people act like it's an accomplishment to lose weight, your body is going to change.

00:49:23.039 --> 00:49:28.639
Even if all of us, we could get really sick and lose a ton of weight involuntarily.

00:49:28.800 --> 00:49:30.719
It could just happen for us tomorrow.

00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:39.920
And we'd have to deal with whatever the consequences are of that sickness and what that means to for our body, because your body will continue to change as you get older.

00:49:40.079 --> 00:49:44.880
It's just going to your hair is gonna change, your face is gonna change, your sight, all of these other ways.

00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:51.679
Uh, but there's no other way that we look at it as an accomplishment except for the ones that we know are aesthetics.

00:49:51.840 --> 00:49:52.800
Like these are aesthetics.

00:49:52.880 --> 00:49:59.519
Once we know their aesthetics, then we can say, When if you go to the gym and lift to but lift a lot and be like, look at my arms, they've got bigger.

00:49:59.679 --> 00:50:00.559
That's an aesthetic.

00:50:00.719 --> 00:50:01.679
That's what you're talking about.

00:50:01.760 --> 00:50:12.400
That's why you say I did the work to actually get the results, which is why losing weight should never be something that we look at as something that yo man, you you you you got the results, you you did the thing.

00:50:12.559 --> 00:50:17.440
Like it's really not that big of a life change generally, because it could happen to anyone.

00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:19.440
So true, very, very true.

00:50:19.679 --> 00:50:22.320
Are y'all ready for a little bit of uh this or that?

00:50:22.719 --> 00:50:23.440
This is gonna be fun.

00:50:23.599 --> 00:50:24.960
Let's be ready.

00:50:25.199 --> 00:50:30.320
Yes, okay, pizza or tacos, tacos, tacos, tacos.

00:50:30.639 --> 00:50:31.519
I'm from Cali.

00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:32.880
Yeah, yeah, tacos.

00:50:33.280 --> 00:50:34.239
Hell yeah.

00:50:34.800 --> 00:50:36.960
Hard pants, soft pants, this or that.

00:50:37.039 --> 00:50:41.679
Which one would you is the world ever gonna go back to hard pants?

00:50:41.760 --> 00:50:42.320
I don't think so.

00:50:42.559 --> 00:50:43.039
You know what?

00:50:43.119 --> 00:50:51.599
I'm gonna throw out hard pants because I've spent the last like three years in my soft pants, and so now I'm just like, please not comfortable.

00:50:51.760 --> 00:50:52.800
I'm not comfortable.

00:50:53.840 --> 00:50:55.119
You just want a different structure.

00:50:56.800 --> 00:50:57.599
I'm not gonna lie.

00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:04.320
I love seeing a man in a good pair of wranglers with a pair of levies.

00:51:04.960 --> 00:51:07.440
Like it could be it could be it could be a few different.

00:51:07.519 --> 00:51:10.559
It could be we can go a dark wash, we can do like a khaki color.

00:51:10.719 --> 00:51:11.039
Okay.

00:51:11.840 --> 00:51:13.519
Staying in or going out.

00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:19.360
Going out, go, yeah, going out, and my wranglers with saucy, apparently.

00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:22.400
We're gonna need photos of that, Ronald.

00:51:22.960 --> 00:51:29.119
Yes, toys or hands?

00:51:30.880 --> 00:51:32.800
That means I think what you think it means.

00:51:33.039 --> 00:51:33.840
Star with hands.

00:51:34.159 --> 00:51:35.920
Star with hand and with toy.

00:51:36.159 --> 00:51:37.119
Then yes.

00:51:37.920 --> 00:51:39.280
The toy can be the person too.

00:51:39.440 --> 00:51:40.480
Whose hands?

00:51:41.199 --> 00:51:42.320
Good question.

00:51:43.519 --> 00:51:44.480
Whose hands do you want them to be?

00:51:44.719 --> 00:51:44.960
Hands.

00:51:45.199 --> 00:51:45.920
I choose hands.

00:51:46.159 --> 00:51:48.480
Well I'm saying, is it my hands or someone else's hands?

00:51:49.119 --> 00:51:50.239
Either way, I choose hands.

00:51:50.639 --> 00:51:51.199
Yeah, I choose hands.

00:51:51.280 --> 00:51:51.519
Either way.

00:51:51.679 --> 00:51:51.840
Hands.

00:51:52.800 --> 00:51:53.840
Hands, agreed.

00:51:54.559 --> 00:51:59.920
Um sleep in or go to bed early.

00:52:02.559 --> 00:52:03.119
Go to bed early.

00:52:03.920 --> 00:52:04.480
Go to bed early.

00:52:04.559 --> 00:52:04.960
I'm old.

00:52:05.280 --> 00:52:06.559
I want to wake up in the morning.

00:52:07.119 --> 00:52:07.360
Same.

00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:09.440
Everybody over 40 here.

00:52:11.039 --> 00:52:12.800
Oh, I gotta get up in the bed.

00:52:13.119 --> 00:52:13.679
I'm tired.

00:52:14.719 --> 00:52:16.480
I could go to bed at 10:30.

00:52:16.559 --> 00:52:17.440
Are you kidding me?

00:52:18.239 --> 00:52:18.880
9:30.

00:52:21.519 --> 00:52:22.000
That's funny.

00:52:22.239 --> 00:52:23.920
Mocktails or cocktails?

00:52:24.400 --> 00:52:24.800
Cock.

00:52:25.119 --> 00:52:25.840
I mean tails.

00:52:27.519 --> 00:52:27.920
Saucy.

00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:29.440
We're never gonna invite you back.

00:52:29.679 --> 00:52:30.800
Saucy sauce.

00:52:33.119 --> 00:52:33.840
Cocktails.

00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:34.400
Whiskey.

00:52:34.800 --> 00:52:36.239
Whiskey-based cocktails.

00:52:36.880 --> 00:52:38.480
What about breakfast for dinner?

00:52:38.559 --> 00:52:39.360
Is that okay?

00:52:39.679 --> 00:52:40.000
Yeah.

00:52:40.239 --> 00:52:40.480
What?

00:52:40.639 --> 00:52:41.599
Yeah, from the hood.

00:52:41.679 --> 00:52:42.559
That's what we did all the time.

00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:43.360
From all the guys.

00:52:44.239 --> 00:52:44.960
We always have to go.

00:52:45.119 --> 00:52:46.159
One of my friends, uh yeah.

00:52:46.320 --> 00:52:49.760
One of my friends' family does a whole Thanksgiving all just with breakfast foods.

00:52:49.920 --> 00:52:51.039
I'm like, that's fucking brilliant.

00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:52.320
Let's do it.

00:52:52.480 --> 00:52:54.719
And how come they don't have appetizers when you go for breakfast?

00:52:54.800 --> 00:52:56.159
I need breakfast appetizers.

00:52:56.400 --> 00:52:58.159
Oh, like that.

00:52:58.480 --> 00:52:59.199
Yeah, that I did.

00:52:59.519 --> 00:53:03.360
Little French toast sticks, little tater tots.

00:53:03.920 --> 00:53:04.719
Give them all to me.

00:53:04.800 --> 00:53:05.039
Yes.

00:53:05.199 --> 00:53:06.320
Blankets or hoodies?

00:53:07.280 --> 00:53:07.840
Blankets.

00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:09.760
Staying in.

00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:11.360
Well, I already asked you staying in or going out, right?

00:53:11.440 --> 00:53:13.039
Did I say yeah, you all said going out?

00:53:13.280 --> 00:53:17.360
See, I say stay in, but I'm an extrovert, so sometimes I just need to stay in.

00:53:17.679 --> 00:53:20.079
It's always all just everywhere, you know.

00:53:20.480 --> 00:53:24.400
Uh what about music on when you're working or quiet?

00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:25.599
On.

00:53:27.519 --> 00:53:28.400
Unless I'm writing.

00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:30.000
If I'm writing, then I can't it.

00:53:30.159 --> 00:53:35.039
I generally can't have music on because it distracts me.

00:53:35.119 --> 00:53:38.639
I can't have like vocals when I'm trying to write.

00:53:40.719 --> 00:53:42.079
Yeah, I I feel that.

00:53:42.239 --> 00:53:45.199
When it w when I had a job, I would like music.

00:53:47.199 --> 00:53:53.679
I I definitely need um if I'm like preparing for a pod, I got I gotta have silence.

00:53:54.079 --> 00:53:59.039
Yeah, I I've got most of my work is involves audio.

00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:00.559
So like it's funny.

00:54:00.639 --> 00:54:03.119
When I have a bunch of emails, I'm like, ooh, I can listen to a podcast.

00:54:03.199 --> 00:54:04.000
Like I'm good.

00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:04.400
Yeah.

00:54:04.639 --> 00:54:08.159
But it's uh unfortunately it's gotta be quiet for me.

00:54:09.280 --> 00:54:11.920
Online community or in-person community?

00:54:12.239 --> 00:54:12.800
In person.

00:54:13.280 --> 00:54:14.239
Heck yeah.

00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:17.679
I'm excited for more in-person community.

00:54:18.159 --> 00:54:19.039
I'm in person as well.

00:54:19.199 --> 00:54:21.920
Like every time I go to a conference, I'm always like, you know what though?

00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:29.039
What I've realized is now since 2020, going to conferences is so much more fun now because we spend so much more time isolated.

00:54:29.199 --> 00:54:34.079
So now you go to a conference, it's like, yes, let's go to the party, yes, let's hang out, yes, let's stay up late.

00:54:34.159 --> 00:54:35.679
Yes, let's early.

00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:39.519
Yes, let's I'm in the pool, I'm on the roof, I'm on a slide, like all of it.

00:54:42.719 --> 00:54:44.639
Definitely, definitely in person.

00:54:44.800 --> 00:54:52.480
So listen, I'm at the point now where when I go and volunteer at my kids' school, it's like social, I'm like, this is the greatest thing in the world.

00:54:52.559 --> 00:54:53.840
I'm out with people again.

00:54:54.480 --> 00:54:57.920
You know, my daughter has a dance, and I'm like, I'm at the dance too.

00:54:58.320 --> 00:54:59.920
Yep, yeah, yeah.

00:55:00.480 --> 00:55:05.519
And it's just like I I want to be out, I want to be around people, I want to be doing things.

00:55:05.679 --> 00:55:07.119
I've missed that so much.

00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:16.239
And I've really realized how how much being around people and being connected directly with people energizes you.

00:55:16.400 --> 00:55:17.840
And man, I've missed that.

00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:19.039
So yeah.

00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:28.880
We have a thing here called Fat Brunch, and um usually about a dozen of us will show up, and it's it's so freaking powerful to go out to lunch with 12 fat people.

00:55:29.119 --> 00:55:33.360
It's like oh, it just makes me feel so just fills me up.

00:55:33.440 --> 00:55:50.079
My heart gets full, and it's just it's so fun too to watch everybody, you know, around the restaurant just like they can't figure out what's going on, and we're like just eating, you know, and drinking, and just like nothing's even like we're just you know, anybody else, but you know, they think we're freaks, and I love it.

00:55:50.320 --> 00:55:51.760
I love making a spectacle.

00:55:52.079 --> 00:55:56.239
I love pissing off the thin people that are so mad that you're eating and fat at the same time.

00:55:56.480 --> 00:56:08.480
Like I'm I'm like, I'm I'm 5'11, I weigh almost 500 pounds, and my hair is always big, and I like to walk it, I like to wear heels, and I like to walk into the restaurant.

00:56:08.639 --> 00:56:11.920
People be like, Yeah, I'm here.

00:56:12.239 --> 00:56:14.000
This is my favorite shirt to wear out.

00:56:15.760 --> 00:56:19.840
Or my badass with a fat ass, and everybody stares, and I'm like, that's right.

00:56:20.079 --> 00:56:23.360
But also, I learned from the bus, I learned from Saucy and Tigris too.

00:56:24.239 --> 00:56:26.639
You know, we love that, we love to cause a little chaos.

00:56:26.880 --> 00:56:27.360
I know you do.

00:56:27.519 --> 00:56:27.920
I know it.

00:56:28.239 --> 00:56:29.280
It's awesome.

00:56:29.519 --> 00:56:32.000
So excited to see what NAFA's up to this year.

00:56:32.079 --> 00:56:33.760
It's gonna be so exciting.

00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:36.639
I'd love to support them more if I can somehow.

00:56:37.519 --> 00:56:38.400
Lots of good things.

00:56:38.719 --> 00:56:39.360
Well, that was fun.

00:56:39.440 --> 00:56:39.760
Thank you.

00:56:39.920 --> 00:56:41.440
Um, Murph, what else do we have going on?

00:56:41.519 --> 00:56:45.280
We oh, we probably need to like do uh um do we have a what's our last thing we're gonna do?

00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:46.800
We're gonna do the closing round.

00:56:47.039 --> 00:56:48.480
Oh, looking ahead, I think, right?

00:56:48.719 --> 00:56:52.159
Yeah, just like what are you looking forward to in 2026?

00:56:52.320 --> 00:57:00.400
What's something you know you really want to um see, experience, think about all those things.

00:57:00.639 --> 00:57:02.960
I wish I could get the damn Ozympic song out of my head.

00:57:03.039 --> 00:57:05.119
That's my my goal for 2026.

00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:06.880
I have a story about that.

00:57:07.119 --> 00:57:14.559
I walked into my my mom's house and my nephew was there, and he was like six at the time, and he was singing that.

00:57:14.639 --> 00:57:18.960
And I I just I was like, first of all, it ruined one of my favorite songs.

00:57:19.199 --> 00:57:24.880
And then, you know, it's like hearing my six-year-old nephew singing that song.

00:57:25.039 --> 00:57:30.639
I was like, ah, sorry, had to squirrel there.

00:57:30.800 --> 00:57:33.119
That's not what I'm taking into 2026.

00:57:33.280 --> 00:57:34.159
Fuck that.

00:57:36.400 --> 00:57:42.159
I mean, I'm just again, like I said, I'm I'm you I'm looking forward to being around fat community more.

00:57:42.320 --> 00:57:48.000
Um, I'm looking forward to um just doing more myself.

00:57:48.079 --> 00:57:57.199
Again, either it's like the podcast or um I'm I'm gonna start a body image consulting or coaching class.

00:57:57.519 --> 00:58:00.719
So that's gonna happen sometime in 2026.

00:58:00.800 --> 00:58:03.840
Don't I'm not gonna say when, but it's happening.

00:58:03.920 --> 00:58:16.639
So because I I I do want to help people in Fat Community because I feel like the conversation is always, oh, I'm on a journey to love myself.

00:58:16.800 --> 00:58:18.880
I'm on a journey to love myself.

00:58:19.119 --> 00:58:23.679
And I respect the journey, but I don't want the journey to be a forever journey.

00:58:23.920 --> 00:58:28.400
I want the journey to be like to conclude at I love myself.

00:58:28.559 --> 00:58:29.039
Period.

00:58:29.199 --> 00:58:31.039
It's no longer a journey.

00:58:31.280 --> 00:58:33.840
Um, so that's what I want to help people doing.

00:58:33.920 --> 00:58:44.000
So just looking forward to just continue to be around community and helping community and and um protect our visibility.

00:58:46.400 --> 00:58:59.039
I think for me, it's uh well folks, much like the rest of 2025, due to a technical issue, we lost Ronald for the remainder of this episode.

00:58:59.519 --> 00:59:03.199
But you can catch more of him on the Wait for It podcast.

00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:07.280
If you're near DC, check out his upcoming Heartbreaker tour.

00:59:07.519 --> 00:59:12.159
And find out more at oh it's Big Ron Studios.com.

00:59:12.320 --> 00:59:20.000
That's O-H I T S B-I-G R-O-N-S-T-U-D-I-O-S.com.

00:59:20.559 --> 00:59:29.199
And I just want to say I hope that the R Y Heartbreak Tour comes to the West Coast because I'm trying to see it.

00:59:30.800 --> 00:59:33.360
Bruce, will you be at FATCON in January?

00:59:33.920 --> 00:59:36.320
Um I think so, yes.

00:59:37.199 --> 00:59:38.960
15th, 16th, something like that.

00:59:39.280 --> 00:59:40.880
I'm looking forward to seeing Ronald there.

00:59:40.960 --> 00:59:42.719
Will you be there this year, Sassy?

00:59:43.519 --> 00:59:45.920
No, I'm I'm I'm I'm poor.

00:59:46.079 --> 00:59:46.639
Help me.

00:59:46.719 --> 00:59:47.679
I'm poor.

00:59:49.119 --> 00:59:52.159
I am not working right now, so I will not be at FatCon.

00:59:52.320 --> 00:59:56.000
I'm gonna cheer y'all on from afar until I'm able to come back out.

00:59:56.239 --> 00:59:59.599
But when I went to the the the first Vatcon was amazing.

01:00:00.079 --> 01:00:03.920
Was so much fun, and I know it's gonna get funner as the years go.

01:00:04.079 --> 01:00:19.119
So actually, no, I will not be there because my daughter has a um choir, she got into the like all state for the state of Oregon for choir, and it's on the 15th and 16th.

01:00:19.199 --> 01:00:21.039
So yeah, you gotta go there after that.

01:00:21.199 --> 01:00:23.760
Yeah, so I can't, I can't I can't miss that.

01:00:23.920 --> 01:00:25.679
It's uh it's a big thing.

01:00:25.920 --> 01:00:43.280
Um as far as like what I am excited for for next year, um Chubster is starting to fire on all cylinders again, and really getting down to the basics of what people use the site for and what it's about.

01:00:43.519 --> 01:00:54.000
It's really for resources, guides, uh, examples of awesome fat people who are out there doing great things, living their best lives.

01:00:54.320 --> 01:01:02.079
And uh there are a couple things that are going to happen next year that I've been waiting years to do.

01:01:02.320 --> 01:01:06.079
And they would have happened earlier, but you know, it's how life goes.

01:01:06.320 --> 01:01:21.760
And I'm excited to uh have a couple of those things uh come out and uh you know really kind of um push things forward in a way that uh I haven't been able to in the last couple of years.

01:01:21.920 --> 01:01:49.119
So yeah, I you know it's um I I feel like with as horrible as other things are in the world, the best thing that I can do for myself is continue continue to push forward, make things that are good that help people do the things that help push the mission of Chubster forward and go from there, you know.

01:01:49.199 --> 01:02:01.199
And and you know, if I can help other people and I can continue to build out this thing that is, you know, it's been meaningful to people for a long time, then I'm headed in the right direction.

01:02:01.440 --> 01:02:04.400
And uh, you know, that's basically where it's at.

01:02:04.800 --> 01:02:06.639
Bruce, have you two met before?

01:02:07.280 --> 01:02:10.079
I see a future model for for Chumpster here.

01:02:10.320 --> 01:02:12.159
Oh man, yeah, yes.

01:02:12.400 --> 01:02:13.599
Oh, that'd be awesome.

01:02:13.760 --> 01:02:15.280
Yeah, perfect, perfect.

01:02:16.559 --> 01:02:18.159
We'll connect you guys, right?

01:02:18.480 --> 01:02:19.039
For sure.

01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:20.400
Yeah, that would be great.

01:02:20.480 --> 01:02:23.119
Actually, I I'd love to I'd love to talk to you about some things.

01:02:23.280 --> 01:02:25.679
I think uh what you're doing is great.

01:02:25.760 --> 01:02:33.039
It's it's so cool to see another guy out there doing talking about this stuff.

01:02:33.199 --> 01:02:40.480
You know, there aren't many of us that are out there doing anything in this area, and it's difficult.

01:02:40.639 --> 01:02:54.079
I think there's so much around just like in general, getting men of any size to talk about their feelings, about what's really going on in in their lives, talking about their bodies, any of that.

01:02:54.320 --> 01:03:03.360
It's not something you see a lot of, and just being that vulnerability and that openness is is something that we need so much more of.

01:03:03.599 --> 01:03:06.719
And it's just it it feels good, you know.

01:03:06.880 --> 01:03:08.639
Listening to your podcast, I I love it.

01:03:08.719 --> 01:03:11.840
And just getting that and feeling like, yes, yes.

01:03:12.400 --> 01:03:13.360
So thank you.

01:03:13.599 --> 01:03:19.360
I'd be listening to Ronald's podcast, and I just be I'm I don't know if you got these messages.

01:03:19.440 --> 01:03:21.920
I was like, I know the hell that didn't.

01:03:22.559 --> 01:03:30.559
It was like one episode where I was like, I'm not gonna know let that woman tell you that something was wrong with you when I was angry, okay.

01:03:34.480 --> 01:03:36.000
I was fussing at my TV.

01:03:36.079 --> 01:03:36.960
I'll just let you know.

01:03:37.599 --> 01:03:40.079
Yes, I I fuss at your YouTube uh Saucy.

01:03:40.239 --> 01:03:42.239
I go there and I leave all my comments for you there.

01:03:44.400 --> 01:03:48.159
I I know they they don't like they a lot of people don't like what I gotta say.

01:03:48.400 --> 01:03:48.639
Really?

01:03:49.199 --> 01:03:50.719
I don't give a shit to you.

01:03:50.880 --> 01:03:52.079
I don't care if they like it or not.

01:03:52.400 --> 01:03:52.559
Right.

01:03:52.800 --> 01:03:53.360
I just don't care.

01:03:53.440 --> 01:03:56.960
You're not paying my bills, you're not feed me, finance me, or fucking me.

01:03:57.119 --> 01:03:57.519
I don't care.

01:03:58.239 --> 01:03:59.760
That's how it goes for me.

01:04:00.320 --> 01:04:08.880
Y'all have to tell us everybody about your where how to find you, how to follow up with you, people who want to follow you and and watch all your goodies and listen to your podcast.

01:04:09.119 --> 01:04:10.400
Why don't we start with Saucy?

01:04:10.480 --> 01:04:11.679
Tell everybody how to find you.

01:04:11.920 --> 01:04:13.519
Um, you can follow me on Instagram.

01:04:13.599 --> 01:04:16.239
That's S-A-U-C-Y-E underscore.

01:04:16.320 --> 01:04:19.039
That is my main page, and then my podcast has a page as well.

01:04:19.199 --> 01:04:21.280
Ao fatgirl podcast on Instagram.

01:04:21.360 --> 01:04:23.440
You can follow me on TikTok, Saucy West.

01:04:24.159 --> 01:04:26.079
Um what else?

01:04:26.159 --> 01:04:26.400
Oh, yeah.

01:04:26.480 --> 01:04:28.880
Um, just one time give us an Ao Fat Girl.

01:04:29.199 --> 01:04:30.960
AO fatgir.

01:04:33.280 --> 01:04:37.199
Um you can find me on YouTube, that's where the pod lives.

01:04:37.440 --> 01:04:41.119
Um, and yeah.

01:04:42.320 --> 01:04:42.800
Love it.

01:04:43.199 --> 01:04:43.840
Wonderful.

01:04:44.400 --> 01:04:45.280
Exciting.

01:04:46.159 --> 01:04:55.519
So you can find uh articles, uh videos, guides, uh interviews, all kinds of things.

01:04:55.679 --> 01:05:00.559
All things chupster at chubster.com, ch ub s t r dot com.

01:05:01.119 --> 01:05:04.880
Um 15 years worth of stuff.

01:05:05.119 --> 01:05:12.079
So um the site is uh getting a very slow redesign piece by piece.

01:05:12.239 --> 01:05:17.599
So there's a guides and resources section, there's all kinds of stuff.

01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:22.400
Basically, you can go through and find uh whatever sort of information you're looking for.

01:05:22.639 --> 01:05:31.119
Um yeah, a lot of uh lot of guides, a lot of uh things to help you find not just clothes but products for your home.

01:05:31.199 --> 01:05:35.119
Uh, get advice on, I mean, just about everything.

01:05:35.519 --> 01:05:46.320
People write in uh asking for advice on everything from where to find a shirt for a job interview to uh dating tips to I mean all kinds of stuff.

01:05:46.400 --> 01:05:48.559
I don't know why they're writing into me for dating tips.

01:05:48.719 --> 01:05:52.320
I haven't dated in 17 years or something, you know.

01:05:52.400 --> 01:05:55.199
So I it's just not that's not happening.

01:05:55.280 --> 01:05:59.519
But if I can't answer the question, we get somebody else who can and go from there.

01:05:59.679 --> 01:06:09.199
That's the the whole idea of Chupster is that it's um not about me, it's about everybody else and about uh you know this bigger thing.

01:06:09.360 --> 01:06:23.920
So yeah, chupster.com, uh Instagram, same thing, C H U B S T R, uh threads, all of those social media networks except for TikTok because I just I'm lazy.

01:06:24.079 --> 01:06:25.360
So here we are.

01:06:25.840 --> 01:06:26.800
So yeah.

01:06:26.960 --> 01:06:27.920
We all get it.

01:06:28.800 --> 01:06:30.559
Y'all better get that TikTok money.

01:06:31.599 --> 01:06:32.000
I know.

01:06:32.159 --> 01:06:33.840
Yeah, that's easy money, right?

01:06:34.639 --> 01:06:35.599
That's easy money.

01:06:35.840 --> 01:06:37.920
I have to wrestle Instagram's not paying.

01:06:38.400 --> 01:06:42.960
I have to wrestle Chubster away from like a 13-year-old who got it before me.

01:06:43.039 --> 01:06:47.119
So yeah, I get to do whatever you have to do there to get that now.

01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:48.400
So yeah.

01:06:52.239 --> 01:07:08.159
Yeah, you can follow us on all the socials except for ex at big sexy chat and um big sexy chat.com if you want to see show notes and get some backstory and other information, quick links, those types of things.

01:07:08.480 --> 01:07:15.519
And um, you can send us questions or comments at big sexy chat pod at gmail.com.

01:07:15.920 --> 01:07:24.960
And our biggest thing, I'm sure, for everybody here is tell a friend, um, share, share, like, subscribe, all those things.

01:07:25.119 --> 01:07:26.719
But really, it's word of mouth.

01:07:26.800 --> 01:07:34.800
It's getting out in the community and talking about the different, you know, resources and sites and different people and connect with this person and follow this person.

01:07:35.039 --> 01:07:45.679
So please, uh, while you were listening to this, uh, go to all those sites and like everybody's stuff and share it with your friends because that's how we build community.

01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:52.079
And with bigsexy chat.com, there's also a really easy way to sign up to get our newsletter, which we send out about twice a month.

01:07:52.159 --> 01:07:58.960
So that's how we can keep you up to date what's going on, fat community, and with our friends here and all the other good stuff going on in fat community.

01:07:59.119 --> 01:08:03.119
So I think that we're gonna go ahead and wrap things up and just see you later, alligator.

01:08:03.360 --> 01:08:04.960
After a while, crocodile.

01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:07.440
Always be fat and free without apology.

01:08:07.519 --> 01:08:08.559
I'm saucy.

01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:12.320
I got three kids, so all I got is smell you later.

01:08:12.480 --> 01:08:15.039
That's that's it.

01:08:16.319 --> 01:08:18.479
Fart jokes are never not funny, Bruce.

01:08:18.720 --> 01:08:21.439
Never, always funny, always funny.

01:08:24.640 --> 01:08:26.800
Yes, so grateful for all of you.

01:08:26.880 --> 01:08:31.119
We really are just all so grateful for all of your work and for joining us today.